That is how I felt leaving to Korea. And that is how I feel leaving Korea.
Like... I am so filled with words.. and thoughts I don't know where to start. I think I am stressing this out way to much. So what I'm going to do is just send you my usual e-mail:) no need to make this one any special:)
Anyways... sorry... ha ha ha. So this week was amazing. I want to tell you of this amazing member, Sister 박웅비 Park Onug Bee. HOLY COW I LOVE THIS GIRL!!!!!! She has a bit of a mental handicapped and I have seen more of the savior in this one sister than any other person, place or thing. She is just FILLED with the spirit of God. She is the one who last week told me "Sister Ensign you need confidence. Don't be afraid. You are Sister Ensign". I think I held her hand for 4 hours yesterday and just hugged and kissed her to death. Heavenly Father LOVES his children. All of them. And I know that we can feel that love through other people. I have felt that love through Sister Park.
Also our amazing investigator Mr. Kim is just amazing. AGAIN when we taught him he couldn't stop talking about how good he felt when he was with up. And when investigators feel that spirit there is no greater time to ask them to be baptized. So we asked him to be baptized on the 13th. He said he will talk with his wife and let us know. We didn't hear from him for 3 days which I was FREAKING OUT and praying like no ones business!!!! And come to find out that he was just out of town referring for volleyball:) So he wants to meet us tonight and we will find out if he wants to be baptized next week:) I love this man. He is so in tune with the spirit and HE LOVES OUR GOSPEL. No wonder he does, its Jesus Christ's message.
So my thoughts have been really focused on the temple lately:) And mom, your amazing example and testimony of family history work has really helped me and I have been able to talk about you in my lessons where we talk about family history and the temples. Maybe its because I just miss the temple so much and cant wait to go to the bountiful and salt lake temple and be able to fell Gods love and spirit. It truly is the house of the lord. I know that. And I cant wait to go. The temple is our celestial kingdom. And I cant wait to be home.
I honestly have NO idea what I will do when I get home. But I do know a few things for certain: I'm going to the temple. I'm going to kiss Samantha and Bubba's cheeks off. No matter how much they hate it. I'm going to pray. and pray again. And I will just go to the temple again. Those are my plans. And I like them a lot.
So let me talk about missionary work... and cry my eyes out. I think about this last transfer and my heart is just warm. So warm. So so happy. I have a testimony that this is the work of the Lord. God loves his children and so he send us on missions and while we are out here learning things for ourselves, we get the amazing blessing of helping people on our way. I have learned that that is life. We go through experiences and we get to help people so that our experiences are GOOD.
So I think of everything about this mission and everything in the past, to come, and now and my thoughts are turned to Christ.
And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. 2Nephi 25:26.
All of my efforts have been for Him. He is the one who died for us. I don't need to die on my mission to help people receive salvation. I just need to teach them about the one who did die, who did suffer, who did make it possible to receive eternal life:) No greater message. No greater work. I love being a missionary. I love talking of Christ and bringing others to Christ because it is in Christ where we find our purpose, love, happiness, joy, fulfillment, peace, comfort, rest and answers to prayers/ life. I know that Christ lives. That he loves us. And like it reads in Jacob 5, that I am the servant in the vineyard. I love in Jacob 5 when it reads in verse 72: And it came to pass that the servants did go and labor with their mights; and the lord of the vineyard labored also with them; and they did obey the commandments of the lord on the vineyard in all things. 75: And it came to pass that when the Lord of the vineyard saw that his fruit was good, and that his vineyard was no more corrupt, he called up his servants, and said unto them; Behold, for this last time have we nourished my vineyard; and thou beholdest that I have done according to my will; and I have preserved the natural fruit, that it is good, even like as it was in the beginning. And blessed art thou; for because ye have been diligent in laboring with me in my vineyard, and have kept my commandments, and have brought unto me again the natural fruit, and ye shall have joy with me because of the fruit of my vineyard." No I am no prophet and the second coming has not happened yet, but I am so blessed to have been able to work in the vineyard. This truly is the work of the lord.
Advice for missionaries: that includes you Bubba:) part of this was some great advice I got before my mission from a friend, Elder Marsden. And I want to share it with you all.
1: Charity never faileth. LOVE IT ALL. AND LOVE IT ALL THE TIME. Let that love of Christ fill you up and give it to others. That is what will make you successful. Mom sad some amazing words to me- They (investigators) may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you helped them feel". So give them the greatest feeling, the one they will remember. And that is love.
2: Decide now that you will be 100% obedient. It is the lords way. You did not ask God to help you do your work as a missionary. God called you to do HIS work and you have to do it HIS WAY. Obedience. is Love. Obedience is what God asks for us. And it is obedience that brings blessings and miracles.
3: There will be times when you will feel sorry because people wont accept this and you just love them so much and so you will feel sorrow. THAT IS OKAY. That sorrow is what God feels and it is a godly feeling. You will feel VERY close to the Lord during those times. Sorrow was the only thing that Christ would not take away from the 3 Nephites.
4: LIVE IN THE MOMENT and EXPECT BAPTISMS!!!!! Expect them. And LIVE IN THAT MOMENT. Don't move on to the next thing running like a chicken with its head cut off. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. Even the hard ones. Live it up. Live each moment, each person, each experience and live them. Don't rush them by.
5: This is the most important. Remember and never forget that it is all about CHRISTS ATONEMENT. All of it. It is the MOST IMPORTANT. The MOST!!!!! I know that to be true. I love my Savior. And I will serve him forever as his dedicated disciple.
I love you all to the moon and back. Catch ya on the flippidy flop:)
Sister Nicolle Ann Ensign