Sunday, May 26, 2013

A Forever Disciple of Jesus Christ

I am glad Samantha's surgery went well. She's so strong. Love her. Looks like you and dad had fun at the waterfalls. So beautiful. Isn't it amazing how creative and beautiful Christ's creations are!!!!! I love nature!!!!! But the reason I want you to buy the house in Idaho so bad is because after my mission I am going to want to be as far away from any type of CITY that I can.  All of Korea is a city. I never see anything but big buildings....... so nature would be nice. I am really sorry about Uncle Robs mom. I will pray for the family! But Isn't amazing to know that this is not the end!!!!!!!!!!   Maybe I could send them a letter. I will do that today:)

 Thank you so much to everyone for the letters!!!!! It is always so nice and everyone is so supportive!
So this week was the greatest week because my investigator Sister Lee received baptism and the gift of the holy ghost. I honestly can tell you I didn't think I would ever see a baptism on my mission. I don't know why, lack of faith maybe. But now I know they happen and I am thirsty for more. But seriously Sister Lee is the most humble, sweet, patient, loving investigator and now my Recent Convert. I remember when she finally said she would be baptized I was excited but still nervous because I was afraid that because of all of her questions she would drop out. Yes my lack of faith is something I am working on. But I can say my faith is strengthened especially as I bore my testimony to her at her baptism and I saw her eyes of love and faith. I will never forget that moment. I don't know if you remember when I first got to this area I talked bout how my faith was tried when my investigator started talking about polygamy and I didn't know all the answers. Well that investigator is sister lee. I wish I could express the progress she has made. She went from doubt to the faith of a giant and it was the greatest miracle to see. I love her. I feel like I have just had a baby and all I want to do is love on her, hold her, and not let anything happen to her. I am trying to baby her by calling her every night, which she says she loves, and I will continue to meet her on Thursdays and we will discuss all the lessons again and watch the Restoration Dvd, etc. Because she was married a week ago, at her baptism we were talking about how in one year we can all go to the temple together. So I might be flying back to Korea in a year:) I will live for that moment. I love sister Lee and there will never go a day where I wont think about her.
Right after the baptism we met my investigator sister Kim a rahn.....  who told me while we were meeting that 1: she actually hates missionaries and only likes me because I am American and teach free English and 2: she then asked me why I looked so sad..... Ya that lesson was fun.... ha. But it was really a shocking moment for Sister Kim when she asked me "What do you want to do while you are in Korea?" She was expecting me to name some historical sites, or places I want to go or things I want to eat. But as I thought about it. I laughed, looked at my companion and said , "Actually sister Kim, all I want to do is to tell every Korean about Jesus Christ. This message is important and everyone needs to hear it."    But I hope it opened her eyes that I'm not here to tour, I'm not here to teach English, I'm not here to be the cool girl from America who speaks funny Korean, I am here to teach people about Jesus Christ and about his restored Gospel. I hope she one day understands.
So to give a little background on my missionary life. Now that sister Lee is baptized I have 3 investigators. And all of them have English interest.........It's a little rough. But wow, I wouldn't change it for something easy because there is nothing greater than working hard and going to the Lord and telling him I tried my best.  Yes it is sometimes heart breaking. I'm working my butt off and so at the end of the day I am both sad and feel some peace that I am trying. I really have been working on my faith.  But this week I really prayed for the faith that God has prepared children out here for me to teach. They really are out there. I believe this week we will see some miracles! I know my next Sister Lee is out there and she is dying to meet me. I love this work. Wow, do I love it. Yes Its hard work, but I plan on doing hard work for the rest of my life. I'm going to work hard because something I am learning and becoming on my mission is a FOREVER disciple of Jesus Christ. Elder Holland's talk last gen con he was speaking from Christ's point of view to Peter. "Peter do you love me? Then why are we here? Why are we back on this same shore having this same conversation. Isn't it obvious that if I want fish I can get fish? What I need peter are disciples. And I need them forever." Also from that talk are the words "Our message is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless it is not hopeless. It is not  to be consigned to the ask heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God and it is to change the world". I say that every time I contact on the streets. This week no one has wanted to talk to us. There are SO many missionaries in Korea and the Koreans are so sick of missionaries.  So to put it simply, sometimes when I try to talk to people, I feel like they would rather eat dog poop than talk to me. Its a "great" feeling. ha ha. But I think of that talk by Elder Holland. I think of this message. I think of all the people who will meet me in heaven and say "thanks for trying to share the message with me!!!" It's hard and I love it. If it was easy I wouldn't be able to feel my saviors love as much. This week was both a miracle with sister lee,  and a trying one for me and my companion. We love our message, but it's hard finding people who want to listen and feel. But I have the faith my Sister Lee is out there. I know they are:) I love this mission. Thank you for all the prayers, love and support. They are real and I feel them so thank you!!!!!! I love you to the moon and back!!!!!!
Love Sister Nicolle Ensign
p.s. Yes this week was hard but I am still happy. Still so happy because I am the one with the truth, the one with the book that has the truth, and the one who feels the constant love of her Savior and Heavenly Father.

Monday, May 20, 2013

I have joy!

So this week was just the greatest!!!!!! Like oh my goodness, I might want to extend my mission for eternity... like I just want to become the next Alma and serve for 14 years. ha ha. Even though I say this I was thinking yesterday how great it would be to go to Costco with you and dad and eat some chocolate covered ice cream. ha ha. Anyways, so great!!!!!!! Love being a missionary.
So this week we met a few more new investigators!!!!!!! we have been praying for 2 things - be friends with members and find new investigators and this week we saw miracles. Tonight we meet a new investigator and then on wed we will meet another new investigator! Right now we have 6 investigators and for just splitting a ward and only been working for about 2 weeks that is a miracle!!!!!! Not to mention the WARD LOVES US!!!!!!! Man I love it. Anyways. Last night we met our Chinese investigator,  Sister Kwan. She has met missionaries for 8months and for the first time yesterday she said she read the book of Mormon!!!!!!!!! Let just say I was BURSTING WITH JOY!!!!!!!! She is forced to attend this other church because they are paying for her and her family to live. She is EXTREMELY poor  and so her church is helping her. But she says she likes meeting with us:) So little by little she is coming unto Christ!!!!!! THEN!!!!!!!! On Friday we had our investigator, Sister Lee's wedding!!!!!! Beautiful and so fun!!!!!!! They asked us sisters to be the photographers and it was a dream come true. Everyone kept asking why there were so many Americans, ha ha, we proudly said we were missionaries. so we were able to introduce our selves to a lot of people. Sister Lee was so beautiful and it was fun trying to translate for her husbands mom,  who is American,  at the wedding. That was an interesting experience. ha ha. But fun. It is a good reminder to me of how much Korean the Lord has helped me learn. Amazing. And so this Saturday Sister Lee will get baptized!!!!!! Lets just say this week will be AMAZING. It is amazing to see the faith she has!!!!! She has so many questions about the church but she is relying on the faith that she does have to be baptized and come to Christ. Last week when we met we talked about prayer and WOW!!!!! She has amazing faith. I love her so much!!!! I cant believe how much God has blessed me to be able to be the spokes person for the spirit in teaching her how to come unto Christ! Please pray for her this week!!!!Thank you!!!!!!!!
Training is going well. I am of course soaked up to my neck in stress but its the good stress. It's the stress that makes me not want to quit and not to give in to Satan's doubt filling thoughts. The lord has helped me have confidence. This week when we had comp inventory,  my comp complimented me on our obedience. I truly believe that when we are exactly obedient then the lord will do the rest. That is something I have tried to do is just to be SO obedient. I have seen SO many blessings come from it!!!!!!!! But yes, my companion is amazing. She has thyroid problems and so she gets tired easily and on top of missionary work, she is exhausted. But she loves it. One day she said to me "this is no longer my body, I gave it to the Lord for a year and a half". Umm... okay talk about the greatest quote!!!! She is amazing. I am blessed to be her companion. And no,  I am not really training her. We are just learning together. I love her.
Well,  I love you. Thanks, like always for the prayers and love and everything!!!!!! I pray for you every day!!!!!! I read this scripture this morning for personal study and loved it. Alma 27:27 - And thus we see the great call of diligence of men to labor in the vineyards of the Lord; and thus we see the great readon of sorrow, and also of rejoicing. Sorrow because of death and destruction among men and joy because of the light of Christ unto life."  This verse is the story of my life,  ha ha. Even though much diligence as a laborer I still see \sorrow because of Satan and the agency of man adhering to the natural man.  But,  I also see much Joy. I see people exercising their agency for good. Putting off the natural man and trying to become like Jesus Christ. That joy replaces the sorrow. I have much reason to be happy!!!! I especially have hope and joy because I know who I have trusted! I know I belong to Christ's church. I know what I know is true. It is true. And for that reason I have much joy!!!!!! I love you mom. Thank you for everything. Yes there is sorrow all around us but there is also good. A lot of good! God is with us and he will not leave us. And for that we can have peace and joy. I love you to the moon and back!!!!!
Sister Collie Ensign

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

I am training.....pray for me

It's okay, I'm freaking out....... but I'm happy. Ya, I'm training in 4 days.... Ya........ I'm pretty much freaking out!!!!!! Usually foreigners don't train until they have been in the country for a year........ But God will be with me and he has promised that if I am obedient he will help me. Wow. So much to go pray about now. But I' am happy. Things will be okay. I'm just freaking out. ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's okay. D&c 84:88. God is with me :) 
So crazy week but a good week. Miracle filled. The first miracle was when I got a letter from Patriarch Hicken. Oh, I love him. Well he shared some experiences he has with Korea with me and one of them is a miracle. Ask him to tell you the story but long story short, When he moved to Utah he was called to serve in the bishopric. The bishop he served with was the man who baptized the first Korean convert, Brother Kim. Lets just say Brother Kim is the most legendary Korean in the Church here and there is a whole book dedicated to him that us missionaries have been asked to read. So that was a tender mercy to have Brother Hicken, who I love so much, share his experience with how he knows the man who baptized Brother Kim. I told everyone and everyone was in AWE!!!! Like in Shock!!!!!! It is amazing. Then the miracles flooded in as we met with our investigators, God helped me with Korean and as we have visited almost every member in Korea. ha ha. This week we have really tried to focus on the members. We really want to serve the members and we want them to introduce us to their friends. So we have spent every second being with members and our investigators. ME and sister Song were going through ways that some of the recent converts have been found and more than half of them were found through members so we decided that it would be good to focus on members. So luckily we went and visited so many members this past week and we felt inspired to focus on one of the wards and it was a proven blessing because now I will be training someone in that ward. I am so thankful that I have been able to serve with sister Song and now I get to still be with here but now we will both be training. And we have been blessed to become friends with the members here and we are seeing the work of the Lord in our lives. It is truly a blessing. This last week we met with sister Ume. our recent convert. She is being bombarded by her parents that this church is not true. She is having a really hard time. But we were really able to help her on Wed and just told her that Christ was perfect and gave us this perfect gospel, but he too was called a liar and people did not believe him but he was true. He really was and is the christ. So mom and dad, will you please pray for her. WE are trying to meet with her family too. Also we shared with her the scripture in JSH 1:25. "I knew it and I knew that God knew it and I could not deny it". Sister Ume has a testimony and she just needs to hold on to it. I told her that even as a missionary I don't know all the answers, but what I do know is true. This church is true. Yes my faith is small, but it is real. Yes my knowledge is small but it is there, yes I am weak, doubtful, and a crybaby, but God is with me and the Savior walked this path before me and now all I have to do is look to him and follow. If I can just do that I will be okay.... I will be able to train....,maybe... ha ha...... I'm just kidding....
This week was also a little sad because we are thinking we might have to drop a few of our investigators...... heart breaking. But we have tried so hard to help them keep commitments but they wont. It is so heart breaking when you have someone you love so close to the truth and they deny it..... so sad. But it is okay because we have planted a seed.

  I can understand how some missionaries lose some faith because when people turn you down all day every day it gets discouraging. But luckily I am reminded of my savior. EVERYONE turned him down. Everyone. Even his friends. So I am not in this alone. And then I also remember my testimony. I REMEMBER what I have felt. and I KNOW is true!!!! 
Then I am just dying because Dad and your email was just what I needed and made me so happy and brought so much comfort. Thank you so much for being guided by the spirit to tell me what I needed to hear. I love you both so much!!!!! Thank you for being amazing Parents!!!!!!! THEN I can't believe Dan had his baby!!!!!! I just got David's letter a few days ago and he said the baby was due in June..... and now he's here?? He looks beautiful!!!!!!! I will be sure to write them:)
Well mom, I am sorry that today's email is short but I have to go. I love you so much and before I go I want to share with you a tender mercy I got this morning. I didn't know this morning during personal study that I would be training, but I read the quote by Elder Pratt by Joseph Smith "Silence, ye fiends of the infernal pit. In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you, and command you to be still; I will not live another minute and hear such language. Cease such talk, or your or I die this instant..... Elder pratt wrote of that experience ' Dignity and majesty have I seen but once, as it stood in the chains, at midnight, in a dungeon in an obscure village of missouri". If Joseph smith can have that courage, with the help of Jesus Christ, So can I. I can do it. God is with me and he is with you too. Why is he with us? Because he loves us and he will never leave us. Never!!
I love you to the moon and back.
Sister Nicolle Ensign