Monday, January 27, 2014

I woke up and couldn't even move... like.. I just wanted to cry..........

 So this whole week I have been showing everyone the pictures of Heidi and Choi Hoon coming to our house and everyone, especially missionaries, just DIE of laughter. So funny. Goodness I love them. And just like 15 minutes ago I got a call from Heidi telling me she had something from you so great. Thanks mom. I love you:)
> So this week was great but let me tell you of my frustration yesterday because it has a miracle attached to it:) So... for the past 5 months my back has been stiff and just annoying but not anything to keep me from the work, thankfully. I work out and stretch and sleep well it has not been too bad... well yesterday I woke up and couldn't even move... like.. I just wanted to cry. lifting my legs was a joke. trying to sit up made me want to die, etc. well like God is a God of miracles so I prayed and got up. It killed. Like... I thought something was really wrong. But hey God has no other choice but to heal me because this sister missionary does not have time to rest. especially with investigators coming to church. Well... I get out the door... putting on clothes..... ..... thanks to my companion and house hold members... ha ha ha . I was dressed like a new born baby... I was useless.... Well I get to church and think that maybe sitting down would help so I sit down... even worse. I was so frustrated because MIRACLE: an investigator we invited to church on the street showed up and was so so so so excited to come to church. She even took a bus for an hour. she's only a high school student and is just AMAZING. She is the investigator from last week I met on the street waiting at the bus stop and as soon as she found out we were missionaries she said she wanted to come to church. Well I'm sitting in church by her (by the name her name is Sister Lee - Hee- Woon) and I am frustrated because my back is in so much pain that I cant even focus and I'm sitting next to my MIRACLE and I just wanted to cry. I tried leaving and went to go lay down and it was still burning. I was PLEADING with the Lord. I told him "I know you can heal me. Like this is possible for you." I just poured out my heart. Sacrament ended and I grabbed the elders and said I needed a blessing. I felt peace from the blessing but no release of pain... sadly yesterday we were in 4 meetings so I had to endure. But Church with Sister Lee was...AMAZING. We talked about free agency and our ward mission leader who teaches the class bore his testimony and told of his conversion story and I look over and she is just crying. I KNOW she felt the spirit and it was just amazing. I am so excited about her. She wants to come again next week:) Then we had all our meetings and then a sweet grandma invited us over to dinner. I told God I was keeping these appointments and that I just needed his help. He did help me. I survived. The lessons were amazing. Then after our appointments I was thankful because I could just go home. (by this time the President knows my situation and is calling Dr.s in the ward to see what to do). And then I was walking feeling like crying and I was like "stop thinking about the pain". I decided to just say hello to this man on the street. He was SO excited to meet us because just a few weeks ago he met the Elders and was so excited. He had all these questions about our church and the Book of Mormon and we were able to bear POWERFUL testimony to him. My companion pretty much called him to repentance and told him he could not receive eternal life with out this book and what it teaches. LIKE I LOVE MY COMPANION@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 So I was so thankful for that. Sadly I was on the verge of throwing up and was dry heaving because the pain but with much laughing because I was walking like  a freak, we made it home. I smacked some ice on and said prayers. I arranged to go to the Dr today. And this morning the sharp pains were gone but it  still hard and painful to move. A member took us to a back Dr. and they took some x-rays (by the way it was all free because the man who owns the hospital is in our stake. ha ha ha) So they pampered me to say the least!!!!!! I was taken to "physical therapy" aka a spa ha ha ha. Where they smacked me with heat and a massage. Like the best. Though all of those things were great I was still a little stiff BUT I KNOW THAT GOD TOOK THE PAIN AWAY. I was just laying in bed crying because I wanted nothing to stand in my way these last 2 transfers... so I was really .... really frustrated. But God heard my prayer. I felt [peace talking with the Dr. and him telling me I would need two weeks in bed and me saying "sorry... I don't have 2 weeks. I have today... ha ha ha. "He laughed and said "okay.. meds, ice and heat". I said "deal". ha ha. I'm just not willing to accept me not working. Like this may sound funny and maybe you may be thinking "umm... way to be humble collie". but I just told God "like this is not negotiable.. I have to work. I have the faith and desire so I'll wait for you to heal me". He did. I'm still stiff but I'm okay. I was so thankful God heard my non humble prayer. God loves us.
> This week was also great because we were able to find a LOT of new investigators like MIRACLES!!!!!! We were even guided to put flyer's in certain places and got a lot of calls and it was just so great. And the members we have been able to meet have been amazing and they are gaining our trust and telling us they have people they want us to teach. It is truly a blessing. I am really thankful to serve here and to just do the work. I love this work!!!!!
> I want to just share my testimony about... well... all of this... This huge GREAT PLAN OF HAPPINESS. We truly can get peace and happiness. God is TRULY aware of our lives and he knows us. Personally. He knows Tammy, Paul, Sammy, Shmee, and Bubba and he loves you. I know it. He knows I want to just baptize and bring people back to church and he IS working with me to do that. I'm not doing this alone. No way. This is HIS WORK and he is apart of it. He is in my life. He knows me. Even the stubborn parts of me that wont allow "no... its time to rest". ha ha ha. He knows me. And HOLY COW HE LOVES ME!!!! And he loves his children  that I am also blessed to know. I love this. This LIFE. I love my life. So frustrating some times but SO GREAT and SO REWARDING!!!!!!!! What is my reward. JOY. Who is my work for... Christ. I have really been preaching CHRIST to our missionaries and our mission. Being in a leadership position I get opportunities like that and the only thing  I ever want to talk about is CHRIST. I love him. And I will serve him because I love him. Mom, I loved your quote of if I love the lord I will be obedient. Well, I love him. I'm only here for him. Not for anyone or any other reason but him. I'm only focused on pleasing him and it is so rewarding. I'm learning that great life lesson, to only please HIM!!!!!! only him. If I please him,  I've done it.

I love you to the moon and back!!!!!!!
> Sister Nicolle ENsign

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