Monday, July 29, 2013

......give it all to God and let him make me strong

Oh my goodenss....OH MY GOODNESS!!! So I'm a little bit freaking out and I had a good cry.... today we had transfer calls.... I thougth for sure I would be staying in Jeonju.... but I am transfering and not just that... I am going to be training again and opening a new area for sisters... it is called Mokopo.  It is the most peautiful part of our mission and the members are great and the work is good but Im just a little nervous. I am thankful I can leave Jeonju in hands that I trust. aka, my companion but I am just going to miss it so much. I have FALLEN IN LOVE with my members and investigators and I dont want to leave, but God be willing. I've done what I could here and now I am getting transferes. AGH. I cant believe it. So nervous. Please pray for me.
 
Mom, the pictures from lake powell looked so great. Cooper e-mailed me and only said a little..."So our families together in Powell.... Jealous....". ha ha. So funny. Of course I am jealous but I can go to poewll with everyone later, right now I have a great work to do and I LOVE IT!!!!!!
 
 This week was a sad one when our loved, golden investiagtor, sister Song droped us becasue she said we were giving her to much pressure.... we asked her to come to church in a text.... not sure how to be less pushey.... ha ha. But I was broken hearted. She was so prepared and so ready to hear this message and to get baptized....... God bless her. She will be ready and will accept one day.
 
This week my companion was REALLY sick so we had to stay inside a lot. Our stats were HORRIBLE..... as soon as I gave our stats to our DL he hurried and said "Sister Ensign don't beat your self up..". hah a. He knows me so well.... haha. But I prayed hard and the time that we were outside, we worked hard. I was thankful for that peace. I really hope my companion can figure out what is wrong.... God bless her. Yes I will miss my companion so much but I am excited to not have to go home so much and to be able to get out and WORK! That will be great.
 
This week at church was a tender mercy. A Member's family was visiting from America and they asked me to translate at first when they asked I thought... umm I can barley understand one sentence at church.......... but when I translated I realized I understand a lot more than I thought. God is helping his missionary:)
 
This week was really good when we met our investigator Sister Kim. She is a Grandma (the one who picked up that huge bug and made it her pet) and her daughter died and left Sister Kim with her grandson.... we dont know where the dad is.... But the Grandma told us at the end of the lesson (I hope this is the truth because I wont live forever and I need my grandson to find a church family to help him in this life. Her Grandson also has disibilities. She was so worrried for him. We felt peace and told her that all she needs to do is ask God if this is the church, if this is the truth. Just ask and he will tell. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have that I have a family, a church family and a heavenly family. nothing to worry about:) I am surrounded by love!!!!!
 
So mom, you asked why I have been signing my name as Sister Cole Ensign. Well,  I do actually have a reason.. But I read this talk "The 4th missionary" that Dee sent me and I am trying to make my life one. Give ALL my life to Christ. I am Sister Nicolle Ann Ensign.  I am a better person because of the name tag and calling I have and I am just trying to change all aspects of my life. I am a servent of Christ and I'm still the goof ball who can't speak a clear sentence and trips over... um... well everything. I don't want to be the same person when I go home. I want to be better. Even if I am still tripping and falling over everything, other parts of me God is chaning for the better. That is why I sign my name, Sister Cole Ensign. I don't know if that makes sense.   Cause I'm still your Collie but I'm a better version:) so to speak. ha ha. At least I hope I am better than I was. I think I am. God has worked too hard to change me for the better to go back to who I was before my mission. I want to be the same person I am here on the mission as when I get home. I will never go back:) I don't want to:) I love being a missioanry. I love the change I am becoming. I also love the change I get to see in others. I am scared for this challange but I dont think any of the other missionaries in the Book of Mormon were without fear. I think we have these weaknesses we are afarid will get in the way and that is why we are nervous, but I'm going to do exactly what Alma, Ammon, Helaman, Nephi, Samuel and all the other missionaries did, give it all to God and let him make me strong.
 
While my comp was sick, I watched the "District"Dvd's and I learned something ipmportant. One of the missionaries said "There will come a time when you have nothing, no one but God". Though I have not fully been alone I have had moments on my mission when I knew no one but god could help me. And he was there for me. He always has been,  and he always will be.
 
 I love you mom. Tell the family I say hi and that I love them too!!!!!!!!!! Love you to the moon and back!!!!!!
 
Sister Cole Ensign

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