It's okay, I'm freaking out....... but I'm happy. Ya, I'm training in 4 days.... Ya........ I'm pretty much freaking out!!!!!! Usually foreigners don't train until they have been in the country for a year........ But God will be with me and he has promised that if I am obedient he will help me. Wow. So much to go pray about now. But I' am happy. Things will be okay. I'm just freaking out. ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's okay. D&c 84:88. God is with me :)
So crazy week but a good week. Miracle filled. The first miracle was when I got a letter from Patriarch Hicken. Oh, I love him. Well he shared some experiences he has with Korea with me and one of them is a miracle. Ask him to tell you the story but long story short, When he moved to Utah he was called to serve in the bishopric. The bishop he served with was the man who baptized the first Korean convert, Brother Kim. Lets just say Brother Kim is the most legendary Korean in the Church here and there is a whole book dedicated to him that us missionaries have been asked to read. So that was a tender mercy to have Brother Hicken, who I love so much, share his experience with how he knows the man who baptized Brother Kim. I told everyone and everyone was in AWE!!!! Like in Shock!!!!!! It is amazing. Then the miracles flooded in as we met with our investigators, God helped me with Korean and as we have visited almost every member in Korea. ha ha. This week we have really tried to focus on the members. We really want to serve the members and we want them to introduce us to their friends. So we have spent every second being with members and our investigators. ME and sister Song were going through ways that some of the recent converts have been found and more than half of them were found through members so we decided that it would be good to focus on members. So luckily we went and visited so many members this past week and we felt inspired to focus on one of the wards and it was a proven blessing because now I will be training someone in that ward. I am so thankful that I have been able to serve with sister Song and now I get to still be with here but now we will both be training. And we have been blessed to become friends with the members here and we are seeing the work of the Lord in our lives. It is truly a blessing. This last week we met with sister Ume. our recent convert. She is being bombarded by her parents that this church is not true. She is having a really hard time. But we were really able to help her on Wed and just told her that Christ was perfect and gave us this perfect gospel, but he too was called a liar and people did not believe him but he was true. He really was and is the christ. So mom and dad, will you please pray for her. WE are trying to meet with her family too. Also we shared with her the scripture in JSH 1:25. "I knew it and I knew that God knew it and I could not deny it". Sister Ume has a testimony and she just needs to hold on to it. I told her that even as a missionary I don't know all the answers, but what I do know is true. This church is true. Yes my faith is small, but it is real. Yes my knowledge is small but it is there, yes I am weak, doubtful, and a crybaby, but God is with me and the Savior walked this path before me and now all I have to do is look to him and follow. If I can just do that I will be okay.... I will be able to train....,maybe... ha ha...... I'm just kidding....
This week was also a little sad because we are thinking we might have to drop a few of our investigators...... heart breaking. But we have tried so hard to help them keep commitments but they wont. It is so heart breaking when you have someone you love so close to the truth and they deny it..... so sad. But it is okay because we have planted a seed.
I can understand how some missionaries lose some faith because when people turn you down all day every day it gets discouraging. But luckily I am reminded of my savior. EVERYONE turned him down. Everyone. Even his friends. So I am not in this alone. And then I also remember my testimony. I REMEMBER what I have felt. and I KNOW is true!!!!
Then I am just dying because Dad and your email was just what I needed and made me so happy and brought so much comfort. Thank you so much for being guided by the spirit to tell me what I needed to hear. I love you both so much!!!!! Thank you for being amazing Parents!!!!!!! THEN I can't believe Dan had his baby!!!!!! I just got David's letter a few days ago and he said the baby was due in June..... and now he's here?? He looks beautiful!!!!!!! I will be sure to write them:)
Well mom, I am sorry that today's email is short but I have to go. I love you so much and before I go I want to share with you a tender mercy I got this morning. I didn't know this morning during personal study that I would be training, but I read the quote by Elder Pratt by Joseph Smith "Silence, ye fiends of the infernal pit. In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you, and command you to be still; I will not live another minute and hear such language. Cease such talk, or your or I die this instant..... Elder pratt wrote of that experience ' Dignity and majesty have I seen but once, as it stood in the chains, at midnight, in a dungeon in an obscure village of missouri". If Joseph smith can have that courage, with the help of Jesus Christ, So can I. I can do it. God is with me and he is with you too. Why is he with us? Because he loves us and he will never leave us. Never!!
I love you to the moon and back.
Sister Nicolle Ensign