Monday, October 14, 2013

I have never felt more like a savior in my life.........

Oh my goodness!!!! Such a good week!!!!! Talk about all the miracles and the general conference!!!!! AGH I just love this time of year. I'ts like an early Christmas ha ha ha.

 The weather here is getting SUPER nice. This morning me and my comp woke up at 5:30am and went with a member to a hike a mt. and then did studies up on the mt. It was so beautiful!!!!!! I was really happy to get out and see some nature especially when all I see all day is buildings... and trash... and homeless cats... ha ha ha just kidding, Korea is more beautiful than how I just explained... ha ha. Sometimes korea has some interesting smells and we don't know where the sun is because the buildings cover everything, but I love it,  probably because of the people;) I love the korean people! I feel like they are my children. They drive me crazy, but I love them to death. Somethimes they make stupid decisions, but I still love them. Sometimes they dont listen to me. But I still love the. Sometimes they down right break my heart. But I love them. And sometimes, they make my entrie week... which makes me love them more!!!!! I think I know a little bit about how God feels about us. God loves us!!!!!!!!!!

So I want to talk for a minute about a woman named 한현옥. This woman is my... mission!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGH!!!!! I met her On October 8, 2013. Heads up, she is not an investigator and she doesnt like church, and I dont think I will ever meet or see her again. But I love her. On the way to a members house for a quick visit I sat by a woman on the bus and just started talking.... and talking... and talking.... and soon I was literally in tears as she grabbed my hand, asked me not to leave, and told me that I need to find a good man to marry becase my heart is tender. I literally cried and was overwhelmed for the love that God has for her and I could feel it. I just wanted to take her right then and there to the waters of Baptism, and next to the temple. She told me of her family, her divorce, how she cant trust men (every woman in korea... literally ALL of my investigators (besides one) either hates their husbands and wants a divorce, or has divorced.. even when we talk on the street to women they ask if I am married and I say no and they look at me with sincerity and say "dont marry a koren man"... its always becasue of alochol... the men here drink every night and spend time drinking with their boss so they get some where in the work place, instead of spending time with family. ) anyways... sorry.... so she told me to marry a good man. She told me of her life and she just talked to me. The miracle about this woman is I could feel like this was an unusual situation for her... talking to people... let alone strangers.... let alone a stranger with brown curley hair and a WHITE skin..... this was not usual for her. But she was there, pouring out her life to me. I can not begin to explain the love I felt for this woman. It was increadible. I got off the bus and just cried because I wanted to help her. I told her how in our church men dont drink and so they are good men. I told her God loves her. I laughed with her as she told me that she loves her son, but that I shouldnt marry her. I held her hand as she just talked to me. I have never felt more like a savior in my life. And I cant even meet her again. But somehow, I know I will. I will see her agian. The worst part about missions are the "almosts". I was writing my trainer an e-mail last week and we talked about the 'almost's.". I'm sick of almosts on my mission but at the same time... I am thankful that God gives them to me to keep me going. I am here to baptize, but I am also here to help. Just help. I am thankful that I get to help a lot. But ya... baptisims would be good too... ha ha ha ha. But I just loved this woman and I consider her truly a blessing. I feel like I will see her again and when I do......I WILL GET HER TO THE WATERS OF BAPTISM!!!!!!!!

Okay, lets talk Juliet for a second... aka my sweet investigator who wants to be baptized. I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!! We ate together after conference  and it was just so great:) I love her:) She already considers herself a member. Its so cute when she says "well with new members like me". haha ha. She has yet to be baptized, but she considers herself a member... we need to talk about that. But she was not able to come to church this last week so she cant be baptized on the 27th. She loves EVERYTHING about this church except about coming to church... ha ha. Story of my LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways. Love her. She says she wants to study the church which I understand because there are CRAZY churches in korea and her dad asked her to be careful. So I understand. She is now wanting November 17th:) I love her. She is really reasonable with it all. She says she feels the spirit and believes the book of mormon is true:) She likes our church but she is scared to meet a lot of people at church. She told me the cutest thing the other day as we walked together to the bus stop... "Sister Ensign, you are my mentor. You make me happy to learn about the God".ha ha ha. I just love her. And then she sent me a text that said "God has made you in an amazing way. Help me find the God". ah ah. I love it when she tries to speak english. I love it. Please pray for her. 

Also our lessons with our married couple Sister Lee and Brother Pack  was really good. Sister Lee prayed and thanked God that she recieved peace while meeting with us and for recieving a good feeling through our message:) I love my investigators... now I just need them to come to church. 

Louisa... cant get baptized until she gets married... and marriage is... no where in sight... Why do you ask that she cant get baptized until she is married.... well becaesu we prayed and we talked with 2 different mission presidents who have known her and they said she CAN NOT  be baptized until she is willing to keep the law of chastity.... and it has always been a problem... so we prayed, fasted, and determined with her, that marriage needs to come before baptism.... All 3 mission presidents that I had to talk to abouther said the same thing... and it was through the spirit. So now all we do is help her. WE decided we can best help her, by helping her come to church every week. That is our goal with her. But no baptism...... Sadness.

And then Sister Pack... love this woman but she wont tome to church. I prayed really hard about as to how to help her and I got some really good revelation!!!!! Its called "ward family home evening". Getting her to meet sisters int he ward, help her know where the church is, and getting her to LEAVE HER HOUSE will hopefully make her happy. I was really excited. WE are doing it next monday:) Please pray for us.

So lets talk aobut conference. For the first time in I didnt have a talk that stood out to me, instead I was just filled with strength, love, the spirit, and a determination to be a better missionary and member, and desciple of Christ. I had 5 specific questions I wanted answered during conference... yup... like "The District" says "you can put your money on the prophet" to answer your questions. ha ha ha ha. So That was really good to get some questions answered and to be lifted and strengthend. I know our leaders are called of God. No question. It is truly a blessing to have a prophet and apostles:)

I have really been studying about how to be a disciple of Christ and how to be a better missionary especially one who teaches with the spirit... well I got my answer. It's called LOVE. CHARITY. That is all it is. Easy right... wrong... but with a little prayer and some humbling..... Love comes. John 13: 35 says "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another". Love is all it takes. And I have truly felt it this week. I pray I can feel it more and more.

One thing that really struck me in conference was when President uchtdorf quoted john 6. Christ says"Will ye also go away". And I speak as does peter when he says "Lord, to whom shall we Go?". The Lord is who I choose to follow and forever and ever will I. I will not, never, ever, go away. I have like Elder Holland says "put my head to the plough and will never look back". 

I love you to the moon and back. 

Sister cole Ensign

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