Monday, June 3, 2013

But that's not how I gained my testimony

Seriously I cant tell how needed your e-mails were!!!!!!!! Mom Your amazing. I also got an e-mail from Samantha and Grandpa Franklin that just really helped me. Well if last week was hard this week was a disaster. ha ha. Lets just say things aren't going my way. But they sure are going Satan's way. I hate it when he wins the hearts of my investigators. So I'll start with the hard.... Not to be negative. Sorry. But wow. I had to drop 3 of my 4 investigators. 2 of them had English interest and said plainly that they hated missionaries. Then then laughed after they said it like it was funny. Me and my companion sat there broken hearted. We had to drop them because we asked if they could come to church and they laughed like it was a joke. They said no. Then I said "will you ever come to church". They laughed and said no. I never knew women in their 50's could be so disrespectful. But the hard part is that I love them to death. AGH. So we had to drop them. That hurt a little because they were so close to the truth.
Then!!!!!!! WE met GOLDEN. I call her that because she is a golden investigator But her name is Sister Yune. Right as she gets in the lesson she tells us that she HATES the bible and book of mormon but she is interested in our message. ha ha. UMM OKAY, you kinda have to read the book if you want to understand our message.  But she said, one day I will read that but not right now. Well we met her twice and it was AMAZING. Like the two best lessons of my life. the spirit was there and we could feel it and she could feel it. So she's golden right, well shes golden because she was asking all the right questions. Her husband died 5 years ago, so hello plan of Salvation. Yes we taught that and she ATE IT UP!!!!!!! Like I have never heard so many inspired questions before.  I couldn't believe it. So that was amazing. Well yesterday my companion was sicker than a dog. Poor thing had a fever of 102 and had the chills and couldn't even stand. So sad. Well while she was sick we got a text from Sister Yune saying she couldn't meet because she was feeling like our purpose was to teach her the gospel but her purpose was to learn English. She said she liked our message and will meet later but not right now........ I was broken hearted. I had a good cry. Like a GOOD CRY!!!!!! . But seriously. I was just so frustrated that one of our 2 investigators, who are AMAZING , and wanted to be baptized,  said she couldn't meet. I was devastated. I have been working my butt off and here someone I love just dropped us. Satan won. I was so upset. But then the sweet spirit slapped me into gear and I could feel the gentle voice of the Lord saying "She's someone I love too. I'm sad too." It was a great moment between me and my heavenly father. Sometimes I forget that God loves these people more than I do. ha ha. Sometimes I want my investigators to see an angel or to have a HUGE miraculous experience. But that's not how I gained my testimony. I need to remember that these are Gods Children and he is TRYING EVERYTHING!!!! More than I think he is, to help his children come unto him. It was a humbling experience. Then after the good cry I whipped back into shape and called over 150 people in our area book. Now we have 2 appointments with people who want to meet us!!!!!!! Miracles happen when you become humble and you do the will of the Father. Yes I am so sad about our investigators but I also realize that they are dropped because they know our purpose. I am not a missionary who beats around the bush about my purpose. I tell people exactly why I am here and what I am here to do and who sent me and if people don't want to meet me  because of it at least in the next life they will come to me and say "thanks for trying your best to give me the truth".
Then the week ended great with a call to my Recent convert Sister Lee. I feel like I am dating her. I'm practically in love with her. I call her every night. sometimes we  meet on Thursdays and watch spiritual DVD's.  I just love her so much. AGH. Love her. When I think about her, I know I can do it. The other miracle of the week was we had interviews with president:) He is amazing. I will miss him so much. He is always a great light at the end of the dark hall. I Love him. The other miracle was your e-mail mom. Wow. I just love you. Thank you for your care, your warm love and your ever lasting support. Your e-mails were just what I needed to hear. Yes I only have one investigator but I have 6 potential investigators who want to meet and I will  share this gospel and hopefully baptize them and their friends and their families. And if not then I will keep my head up and work even harder. I love this work. Free agency frustrates me but I love this work. I love it. Thank you for the love and prayers and most of all for your amazing example. I love you to the moon and back.
Sister Nicolle Ensign
p.s. Last week I needed more faith and this week I got it. Surprisingly because this week was harder than last. I think it's through the storms that we get the courage. I think I will need to remember that one. :) Love you mom!!!!! Tell the family I love them too:)

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