Merry Christmas From Korea

O that I were an angel and could have the wish of my heart......

Well hello winter!!!!!! The past few days have snowed and snowed and snowed. It was a winter wonderland when we woke up yesterday:) But today its all melted away:(

Anyways. I first want to start off with the sad news so I can get that over with. yesterday after our lesson with sister Lee, (who told us she doesn't mind that we keep coming over to help her son learn English but she wont EVER change religions) we got a text from sister Honey.... telling us that as sadly she was not going to be able to meet ever again. I just stopped dead on my tracks and couldn't believe it. We thought for SURE she was going to go slow, but that she would keep meeting and later would be baptized. Agh......, my heart just broke... again. This time I had sister Scott to cry about it with. This morning I was frustrated that this KEEPS HAPPENING.   Like "hello sister ensigns' mission STORY OF HER LIFE". I know that is not my Mission story, but it felt like it this morning. I was bickering that I couldn't have at least ONE person I love get baptized... frustration. WELL... God new better and kicked me into shape and after a good talk with the spirit and with Sister Scott, my mind was cleared up and faith was restored:) Well of course the scripture I open to this morning was Alma's plea saying "O that I were an angel and could have the wish of my heart. ... but I do sin in my wish".      BECAUSE THE LORD HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH.  He has let me be the witness of so MANY miracles here in Mokpo and I am so blessed. 

 

One of those miracles just happened on Friday. WELL a few weeks ago I was talking to this amazingly cute out of control grandma. She was Grandma Franklin on steroids. She IS THE CUTEST!!!!!! and it was a blessing that she reminded me so much of Grandma Franklin. :)) Well she thought it was the craziest coolest thing that we were from America and she begged for our number and called us the next day begging us to come to her house so she could feed us. Well we were not able to go when she first called us and so we decided to call her this week on Friday. Well she told us to come over right then and now ha ha . So that's just what we did:) we get to her house and she is just holding our hands laughing, etc. you would have thought she was a 2 year old with a brand new toy.  so fun!!!!!!. So we talk with her about God, of course:) And she was all over it. She had a different religion but she LOVED us. Well we told her we had a different appointment and when we told her we had to go out in the snow storm you would have thought we told her we were going to commit suicide. ha ha. We refused to let us leave unless we came back at 7 to eat my favorite meal made by grandmas, kimchee soup!!!!!!!. So we came back. She told us that we were going to sleep at her house that night because we would be crazy to go back home even though we live literally 5 minute walk away. ha ha ha. So, she was just SO giving and loving. We were so thankful to meet her and we really feel like we have found a way in. We tried teaching a lesson to her and I was totally up for shmees commitment to ask everyone I know to come to Christ and be baptized but... she said her favorite drama was on... So we decided to ask the question in more of a spiritual atmosphere. we will be going back:) But it was such a tender mercy to meet such a giving loving wonderful woman like her. She is Mokpo's next member;) I just know it. 

Also this week talking to you and the family was SUCH a blessing. I just love you all so much. To the moon and back:)

With Christmas this last week we were SO filled with joy and love. Just spreading the word of God to the people in Mokpo. Such a blessing. Christ lives. He WAS born. He DID come to earth and he HAS redeemed us from our sins to be able to live with God again. I know it. I love my savior. I love being a missionary during Christmas. So special. 

Sorry today's e-mail is a bit short. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. How much I love being a missionary. How much I love my Savior. For all those who read my words. Yes, even you mom and dad. SERVE A MISSION. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT!!!!! What possibly could come from serving a mission that would be negative... nothing. I say NAY!!!!!! NOTHING!!!!! It is only positive. I love my mission. I love the ups and I'm learning from the downs. I am learning who my Savior and our Heavenly Father really are and I love them. Oh I love them. I know its only through this church, this perfect path made by the savior himself, that we can return to live with our eternal families and Merciful God and Savior. I love you to the moon and back.

Sister Nicolle Ensign

REMEMBER...............

Mom to start off, I just wanted to tell you I actually have been focusing a lot on Christmas and your question about who I would want to be for Christmas was inspired. As soon as I read that I knew who I wanted to be. Well when we meet with our members we have been focusing on Christmas... of course:) and we have been sharing Luke 2:10 with them. I tell them. "you know, we are not angels in wings, but we, like the angles to the Shepard's have a message of glad tidings and great joy." so Mom, you ask me what I would want to be. I would want to be an angel telling the world of the glad tidings of great joy, singing praises. Yes, I would want to be an angel:) Seeing as how I was definitely an angel in heaven singing praises, I feel pretty happy with that:) Real life = us in heaven singing praises to God:) Thank you for that question. Like Shmee said in her last weeks e-mail. You and dad have worked HARD to help us KNOW who we are. I am so thankful for you and dad. Love you.

So... lets talk AMAZING. For a minute:) Which is also to mean, that my week was AMAZING. Wow. I just love sister Scott. Me and Sister Scott went on Tuesday to our zone conference:) Which was so spiritually inspiring and uplifting. I love our leaders. They truly are called of God. Well. As a zone we decided that we wanted to still focus on purifying ourselves (which we did as a mission for the 40 day fast). And we decided as a zone to read the entire Book of Mormon this transfer. Which is about 15 pages a day:) I CANT TELL YOU HOW AMAZING THIS COMMITEMENT IS!!!!!!! You all are just a week behind me and who cares if you finish a week after me, but LETS DO IT TOGETHER. 15 pages a day. that's it.  WE can do it. Now we were told that it is good to study the scriptures, but for this cause we are just to READ the Book of Mormon and get a feel for what the BOOK is about.  It has helped already. I would love it if you joined:) This week, one verse that stuck out to me was a verse in 2nephi 5:27 which reads "And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of HAPPINESS".  Well let me tell you what kind of a week it was.... at first it was not necessarily happiness... ha ha ha. But wow, Does God answer prayers or what!!!!! so poor Sister Scott was sick all week and stats were not the greatest BUT we had so many prayers answered!!!!!!!!! To start off.. I want to tell you about the greatest lesson I have ever been in. 

This is our lesson with Honey:) Oh my goodness!!!!! So poor Sister Scott was frustrated because she didn't feel well and she was wondering how she was going to prepare for our lesson with Honey. I told her that she needs to sleep on the bus so she doesn't get MORE sick. I know she didn't want to but her body gave in and she slept. Luckily before our 2 hr bus ride to Hayman (where Honey lives) we had zone conference and were "fed the words of eternal life". We get to the lesson and we are with our amazing member sister Kim-Jong-Lan. (Love HER!!!!!) And we talk about the POS. we also talk about Gods plan for us personally. Honey asked a lot of questions about baptism and how to sincerely pray. She also read the Book of Mormon and likes it:) (which is special because a lot of Koreans cant understand it and so the don't like to read it... aka... Honey is SO PREPARED!!!!!). Well we then focus or remarks on Christ. Which is what we planed. The spirit was strong. The member said it was interesting that we were talking about Christ and Heaven because she was going to give a talk on Sunday (yesterday) about heaven. She said during her studies she found a verse about the Love of God. So we talked about how much God loves us. Then my sweet AMAZING companion offered he sweet testimony. So let me just explain that as a new missionary in a foreign country THERE IS NOTHING MORE FRUSTRATING THAN LOVING PEOPLE AND WANTING TO SHARE THE MESSAGE WITH THEM AND BECAUSE OF THE LANGUAGE YOU CANT... SO FRUSTRATING.  and poor Sister Scott gets frustrated.   Just like we all do. But today kept telling her that God would help her. God knows she is sick and he will still help her. So as she shared her testimony of the Book of Mormon and of Christ the whole room filled with the spirit. I cant even begin to tell you the spirit in that room. AMAZING. We all had tears in our eyes. In PMG it talks about how the missionary, member, and investigator need to feel something. Well... in that lesson we all felt it. I'm not kidding when I say it was the lesson I will remember for the rest of my life. I will never forget that feeling. The other great part of it was that on Sunday, sitting by Honey at church, listening to Sister Kim-Jong-Lan share her testimony, Sister Kim brought up the spirit she felt in that lesson. She just cried and told the members it is all about gods love and it is the testimony of that love that touches the hearts of others. She also was so kind and said some really nice, un-necessary things about us missionaries, but it was just so wonderful:) That lesson changed my life and I know it changed all those who were there. I know sister Honey will be baptized one day and I am thankful she is listening. It is a miracle how open her heart is. She is amazing. I know she will be baptized. And she loved church yesterday. She is a woman of few words but she was full of smiles and love yesterday. It was an answer to prayers. 

Another miracle... so me and Sister Scott have been praying really hard about how to get referrals from members. Well we decided to do a Christmas count down. 12 days of countdown and the last day is the ward Christmas party which is on Christmas eve:) We have put in SO much work and time and have made hand out after hand out and sent text after text. And yesterday SO many members came up to us and talked about the party and how they want to come and bring friends. there was one brother who got up and talked about how much we are doing to help the ward do missionary work and then he asked the ward if they were doing their part. Long story short, the ward is thinking about Less actives and friends to bring to our ward Christmas party:)

THEN we have been praying about a member for a long time. Her name is Kim Jeu. LOVE HER. Her parents pray for about 2 hours a day and LOVE  God but don't think they need religion. they think they are closer to god than a religion could help them be. WELL we have been wanting to meet with them all but have been praying for a time to meet..... WELL KIM JEU CALLED YESTERDAY and invited us over for this coming Saturday!!!!!!!!!!! WE also decided that we wanted to give her parents the book "Our Search for Happiness" as a Christmas gift. God has been answering all of our prayers. It is amazing. 

We also have been preparing for the ward and mission Christmas parties. WE are singing at both. ha ha ha.Fun.... We are singing with the elders and OH MY GOODNESS THEY REMIND ME SO MUCH OF BUBBA!!!!!!!!

 

 I love you all so much. I LOVE christmas and I LOVE being a missionary during Christmas. I know christ lives. He is our King. The was the sweet baby born to Mary who was sent to give us joy and peace and everlasting life. HE really did come. I know it. I am so thankful for the knowledge. God and Christ Love us. They direct this work. Honey will accept it one day. I dont need her to accept it and be baptized with me, but I NEED her baptized. She is too sweet and loving to not have this in herlife. She needs it. She deserves it. In fact, Christ deserves it. He loves Honey. Oh does he love her. It's amazing how every lesson we have, I tell her God and Christ love her. And ever time she looks down with a smile and nods her head. She knows. We all know. WE jsut sometimes forget. DONT FORGET. In fact. REMEMBER. Remember Mom, God loves you. Remember dad, God loves you. Remember Bubba, God loves you. Remember Samantha, God loves you. Remember Shmee, God loves you. And I love you to the moon and back.

 

 MErry Christmas:)

Sister Nicolle Ensign

Interview with the New York Times

New York Times wanted to view the average day of a Sister missionary..................

Well..... If you asked me if I would ever want to be interviewed by New York Times ever again.... I would say no.... Seriously it was the MOST STRESSFUL week of my LIFE!!!!!!! At the same time,  the Lord was giving us so much peace. WE could feel the prayers of everyone for us. So the reason it was so stressful is because they wanted to do specific things. Like a service project, meet with an investigator, teach English, tract, door knock and visit members. Which is all possible and we planned for all of that but when you have a camera following you around and wanting to set up the camera and have you pause and wait for him to get good shots of you... things tend to run a bit differently. And then when you have a sleep deprived NYT reporter who needs her coffee, things run a bit slow. ha ha ha. At the same time. I cant begin to tell you how much I loved Jody (reporter) and Choi (photographer) and Jessica (public affairs for the church). Holy cow. So great and amazing. Jody has interviewed people from us to President Obama and everyone in between!!!! She is an amazing woman.  NYT wanted to view the average day of a Sister missionary in Korea and they were sure going to get it. Every day, without fail, someone cancels on us. So the fact that people canceled was not a surprise... just stressful. ha ha ha.  Anyway,  so for the interview - they had us sit on these mats because we don't really have chairs and we were asked questions like - what does it mean to be a sister missionary? why did you choose to come out? talk about the women in your life? what is rejection like? tell us about the good. Tell us about the bad. what do you think about women holding the priesthood? because more women will be RMs they will have strong testimonies.. do you think they will have an advantage over men in the future? They asked a LOT about both of our sisters serving missions. The reaction to the age change and what we thought about that. They asked us about our families... etc. I was really lucky to be able to brag about the amazing women in my life:) but they asked some deep questions... not sure how I feel about it.......  so other questions concerning women and the priesthood we just kinda laughed and said it was not really relevant.

During that day we saw many miracles. They wanted us to go knock on doors.. I told them we don't really do that anymore and we do what Pres. Hinckley asked,  which is to work through the members. But I decided we could go see if the family from Finland was enjoying the Book of Mormon we got them... umm okay... miracle!!!!! She answered the door and said it was so thoughtful that someone ordered a book for her in Finnish and that it happened in Korea from two Americans. She asked us to come again.
 

So NYT got a view of real missionary work which is what they wanted. Wow... so that was an..... interesting experience. What I learned.......- I like my simple life. Simple missionary life where all I have to worry about it pleasing the Lord:) But it was a good experience. Don't need another one though.

 We are all geared up and ready to go back into missionary work. :) God truly helped us with NYT , and he helps us every day. This is truly his work. I know it. I am so thankful to be his missionary. I learned the only person we ever need to please is God. If we please our selves, we will never be happy. If we try to please others, we will drive ourselves into the ground with busyness. If we try to please the world, we will build a mansion on earth of rewards...but our treasure in heaven will be of saw dust and dirt.... But when we please the lord. When all we desire is to please the lord, our desire is met, we are pleased in knowing the Lord is pleased and that is the greatest Joy. 

This Christmas season I have been pondering a LOT about what to give God and Christ as a Christmas gift. I was desiring so hard, working so hard for a baptism to be their present. It can happen. but also I know I need to just sacrifice all and give it ALL to them. I don't have much time left and so I need to give them my all. Time, energy, desires, wants,  weaknesses, etc. give it to them. Christ WAS born. I know He came..... and He lives.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love Sister Cole Ensign

....my eyes have been opened to the Christ like examples around me....

So.... At the beginning of my mission President Furniss said that all the missionaries keep their passports at the mission home because after our one year mark we have to have our passport to renew our visas. well my one year mark is tomorrow (one year in Korea) so I was suppose to have my passport sent to me...well I waited... waited... and waited.... (they keep them at the mission home so that missionaries don't loose them during all the transfers)... funny that the mission home lost mine. ha ha ha. Anyways I waited and finally called the mission home asking where it was... they got super stressed and said they sent it like... 3 weeks ago... usually letters within Korea take 1-2 days to arrive.... not 3 weeks.  We contacted all the post offices and no one could find it... so guess who took a trip to Seoul?   And the highlight was that I got to call you mom :) I know it was so short but it was still SO good!!!! Oh I was so happy!!!!! So so so Happy:)

 

 

Well... Seoul... was interesting... lets just say, I really missed Mokpo the whole time I was there. But don't worry they,  I figured out everything with my passport and its all taken care of:) funny story though... so  we headed to the mission home on Thanksgiving/ Thursday and lets just say Thursday as a STRESSFUL day for us.. ha ha ha. For some reason everything was going wrong and we had to get to Daejoen on a bus by 6 and we were 2 hours form home and it was 5..... So we were freaking out and then said a prayer and decided to not freak out. We got home at 6. WE made a DELICIOUS home make apple pie@!@!!!!!! Oh my goodness. And we took the pie on our way. So thanks giving dinner this year was an apple pie. So we get to the train station and they tell us that the train is leaving right now. So unlike America where they would just tell you that you missed it... the Koreans hurried and printed our tickets and told us to run. ha ha ha. One of the workers ran in front of us and stopped, shook his head, said, "no time" and took us around the corner. He looked at me and yelled "GO". The train was leaving and he was suggesting we  JUMP THE TRAIN TRACKS and get on the train. So what do we do.... we go. Totally not missionary or human smart but we did it.... ha ha ha. But it was just adding to the adventure... and stress. ha ha. We got to the mission home, and told president and he said, "Good thing you didn't die". ha ha ha. And he laughed. I love president.  He has taught me that you are serious and logical, smart, follow the spirit. But when things are done and out of your hands, you learn from your mistakes and maybe take a few minutes to laugh. Love him. I love him so much.

So lets talk about the miracles for a minute.... so my entire mission, getting investigators to come to church is... difficult... well we set the goal of 2 investigators coming to church. Dave and Honey. Our two really progressing investigators. Well......WE HAD 3 INVESTIGATORS AT CHURCH AND 107 MEMBERS (usually we have 74 members). Us and the elders and have been working really hard to get less actives to church. Well!!!!!!!! WE had Dave and Honey and then bishop brought a co-worker!!!!! I was so overwhelmed with Joy. (the word my sweet Ensign the younger talked about in her e-mail... JOY). Joy filled the church and hearts of all who came to ward conference. It was amazing!!!!!!!! Dave and Honey really liked the sacrament meeting but Honey thought the other meetings were... too... long... ha ha ha. But for someone who has never been to church before, I can understand who 3 hours would be long. But it was so good. the Bishops referral had to leave early but she also LOVED the sacrament meeting. Oh it was such a miracle!!!! Dave will be with us in  the interview with NEW YORK TIMES on Friday (by the way.. news is out... you and tell others about NYT). Oh I am so nervous yet, I feel like this will be good. I am so thankful I have sister Scott to be with. My best friend in the mission to experience New York Times interview and Christmas together. We are thrilled. Transfers are this week and we are both staying. THANK THE HEAVENS. 

 

This week I really was overwhelmed with he spirit that this is the lords work. It truly is his work and HIS WILL BE DONE.  We spend a lot of time traveling. The most in the mission because or members live so far away, and so do our investigators. Usually we spend in one day, 3-4hours on a bus... crazy right?..... but everyone lives so far away. We try to do many visits in our area as to not waste time. But we HAVE to follow the spirit. WE can not waste the lords time and so really putting away our desires our ways and relying on the lord is SO crucial in this work. I really felt it this week as I was praying to find my passport and just prayed that the Lords way would be done. I just was overcome with the spirit that the Lords way should ALWAYS be done. In missionary work and in my life. He knows best, He knows what's best for me. I just have to give it to him. Dee is SUCH  a good example to me of that. Her mission of truly giving herself has truly helped me. And my prayers have become so sincere because of her sweet example. No wonder God gave her to me. I love you Dee. And Mom, Dad, Bubba, Sam and  Sister Gelder, if you all only knew how your lives and examples have helped not only my mission, but my life, you would be amazed... I am amazed every day. On my mission I have really studied Christ's life. His example. His ways. And I have been able to have my eyes opened to the Christ like examples around me. I am surrounded by Christ like people. You all are Christ like. Thank you for helping me and showing me how to be more like Christ. Everyone has a bit of Christ like in them. Those are the gifts you talked about mom. everyone has them. Even our investigators have them. I love pointing out to our investigators that they are like Christ. Like last night our sweet investigator and her son learned about the restoration. At the end, Sister Scott asked the 14 year old son to pray... he offered on of the most precious prayers I have ever heard. She raised him on her own. But the reason he is such a good kid is because she takes him to church every week. (not our church, a different church)   He prayed like he was literally talking to a friend. I praised the mom for being like Christ and raising her son to be who he is. I walked out of that lesson thinking "wow, even if they don't convert to the gospel, they have found God and he is truly helping them. And God helped them find us.". 

 

 

 

God loves us all. Merry Christmas. What a wonderful time to remember our Savior and our God. I love you all to the moon and back.

Love Sister Cole Ensign

If there is one word I could use to describe my mission, it is Humbling......

This week my favorite couple from Gwanju,  my first area,  came to Mokpo and gave us 4 referrals of their friends:),  it was amazing and a miracle. They also gave us.... 20 pounds of clementines, grape juice, tomatoes, and other food... they LOVE ME AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! It is funny because their son is actually dating this girl/ practically engaged , and the brother, keeps saying "its not for sure... you could still marry him".ha ha. Its funny. They are more worried about me being their daughter in law than their son being happy. So funny. Anyways. It was so good to see them and they said they would hook us up on hotels all around Korea. So if we want to go to Jejedu island (not sure how to spell it sorry) (it is a famous island in Korea), then they could get us a hotel there. But I think you have to pay for a different flight there...not sure. I will ask.). Anyways... they are going to help us get around and have fun when you come here to visit:) ANYWAYS!!!!!

So it sounds like  Satan sure hates returned missionaries and is making his attack on them. WE have to stay strong. I never want to be a returned missionary. I will just keep the badge on. We can go on splits mom until Dee gets home;)

I actually loved that talk by President Monson. WE had a sisters conference that Sister Roueche did(Amazing). And we watched part of that talk. Prayer is so crucial and so amazing. All the time with people try to bible bash with us we just always go back to that fact that through prayer we can ask God to know the truth. Luckily he has already done that for me. I know the truth. And we ALL have access to know. WE just have to ASK!!!!!!!!

So think week...agh. I am just so humbled and sincerely grateful for this amazing work I can be a part of. I love being a missionary. And I am so thankful to be serving with my AMAZING companion, Sister Scott. I love this girl.She reminds me so so so so much of Sister Gelder. (who I miss EVERY DAY). So it is good to be with her. Especially because she has a heart of gold... and...she loves Christmas!!!!!!!!! So important!!!!!! We have so many miracles together and it is truly humbling to be together. we have had so many humbling experiences. So let me tell you how amazing my comp is. Well... here she is, not even one transfer into her mission, trying to speak Korean, and over come ALL the fears that come from A:being in Korea. B: speaking Korean. C: being a missionary. D: Korean.... E:Korean....F:Korean....And G:Korean... ha ha ha. But she just pushes past those fears and we talk to everyone. (great example of my Sister Diondra!!!!) Well on the bus 2 weeks ago Sister Scott sat down and talked to a grandpa. I was talking to someone else but I was so proud of her because it is NOT easy to understand grandmas and grandpas so I was so proud of her for trying. Well she got his number and we called him a few days later and setup an apt. Well.... we got weird texts from him. Like all these pictures of flowers and hearts. ha ha so we were kind of nervous to meet him. Come to find out those texts were just part of his work. ha ha ha. Well we meet him.... umm.... ya... hes SO PREPARED!!!!!!!.  He had cancer for 10 years and recovered and now wants to find out why God saved him. He is researching ALL churches to find the truth. HE CAME TO CHURCH YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my goodness. I was so happy!!!!!! The first investigator to come to church in a whole transfer!!!!! I was so thankful and The whole time he kept saying " I really like it here. It is so free and the feeling here!!!!... Agh... it's amazing!!!!". Our ward mission leader because his best friends.They where holding hands and everything. (men do that in Korea... they are very touchy here:)) Well he just kept saying to our ward mission leader (which by the way dad... HE REMINDS TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF YOU!!!! How?... he is SO friendly. Talks to everyone.  Loves everyone. And he is SO loyal to His faith. It is amazing. I actually asked him for a blessing yesterday to prepare for NYT!!!!!!!! It was like having you here Dad. Such a blessing!!!!! Anyways). The Brother Kim (I have decided to name him Dave because I think of Dee's recent convert, the older man named Dave , and if I could imagine a version of Dees recent convert, I would think of Brother Kim. So from now on I will refer to him as Dave:)). So Dave kept saying how we had this light.... sound familiar:) And he felt like God guided him to us. Amazing. So my sweet companion found our next recent convert. Dave has the baptism date for December 22!!!!! WE taught him and it was so spiritual and wonderful . He prayed like he was born to. He came to church like he has been dying to. And he loves the ward like he's lived with them before.... aka... he has... aka. pre earth life:) That was a joke:) Sorry.. jokes these days are a bit.. on the ....dry side...  

So that was an amazing miracle. I will keep you updated on Dave:)

Sadly sister Pack was not able to met this week because she was really sick. We stopped by here house to give her some "get better treats and she was SO thankful. She even told me she loved me.  Amazing!!!!!!!!!!! So keep praying for her. She will come around. We saw so many miracles this week and it was just a good week. 

Well mom and dad.Good week. I love you so much. I can't thank you enough for supporting me and cheering me on. You have no idea what it means to me. I love you both more than I can even say! Here on my mission I have learned to be more humble. If there is one word I could use to describe my mission it is Humbling. :) During exercise this morning we listened to some conference talks and I was reminded of the quote - " The world has enough women who are tough. We need women how are tender. There are enough women who are coarse. We need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude. WE need women who are defined. WE have enough greed. WE need more goodness. WE have enough fame and fortune. WE need women of Faith. WE have enough vanity. We need more virtue. We have enough popularity, we need more purity". I love this. I feel like my mission has really made me desire and has helped me be the women that we need MORE of. This world is failing in its accountability of Good women. I am not as good as I want to be. But I sure am better than where I use to be and I am so thankful for the Woman God has molded and refined me to be so far. He has a lot more work to do, but he's still working. And I love the change that I have experienced so far. I will never to back. Like Elder Holland says - "I have put my hand to the plough and I will never look back". I hope we all.   Each day, strive to be a little better. Let us be loyal to the author and finisher of our faith. 

I love you to the moon and back.

Sister Cole Ensign

Dee!!!!! Go baptize that Korean Girl!!!!!!!!!!! I love you

....... God is telling me to work hard. Work even harder.....

First off shmee... if you read this... I was just crying over your letter about you making fun of me for my protein cravings and for the experience you had with LOVE!!!!!!! Shmee,  you are the one who inspires me to have love. I have never had more love for anyone than my family. And now that love has been intensified but so has the love for others. I love you Shmee. I love you mom. I love you Dad. I love you Bubba. I love you Baby girl.   And Shmee,  I know what you are talking about when you say you don't feel great but that God thinks your pretty great. Its the greatest feeling. I love not feeling important, because I am nothing "great" in the worlds eyes.. in fact... the world thinks I'm CRAZY.   But we know better. God knows better. 

Looks like everyone in the family is doing good which I am glad to hear. So... good stuff:) Our mission is doing a 40 day fast. During this fast we are working on repenting and becoming purified as individuals and as a mission. (Shmee if you remember that talk about the missionary who did the "40day fast"  from spirit killing things... that talk by Johnny... sorry if you cant remember). Anyways, our mission is doing it. so we each of a day to fast and we focus on repenting/ purifying our selves so we can be better missionaries. It's amazing. Well our day to fast was on Wednesday... umm okay miracles!!!!!!!!!

Miracles list:

1; our lesson with Sister Pack was with a member and we talked about the Book of Mormon. We talked about how it will bless her life. she will get guidance about how to help her family through this, etc. I bought a tri set for her and wrote my testimony in it and some BOM quotes. She LOVED it!!!!!!!!!!! During that lesson she said in humility and with all sincerity " I want to be baptized... silence.... I want my whole family baptized." She had the biggest grin on her face!!!!!!!!! No we only have to pray for her husband's heart to be softened so that he will allow her to go to church. If she doesn't go to church she cant be baptized. but she really is DYING to be baptized. It is amazing to see the change this gospel has brought to this woman. Amazing.

2: we decided to go out and give banana pancakes to our potential investigator.... we did... she wasnt home... but she called and was SO thankful... we have been trying to set a time to met her and she always says she's too busy but she called and set up an appointment all on her own:).

3: Right when I got to Mokpo I was told to call a Sister Young. We called... we called... and she told us not to call again because she cant meet.... well she randomly called us on Wed, while on the bus, and she said she wanted to meet and to introduce us to a friend... umm okay... like YES OF COURSE WE WILL MEET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha.

4: Just all day we were filled with this light and joy. We couldn't be brought down. It was amazing. The spirit was just so strong.

Also we just had a miracle week!!!!!!! This week we had stake conference. Usually missionaries don't go to the sat session but our mission president and stake president asked us Gwanju missionaries to come. Well... waiting in the bus terminal in Mokpo this guy, Kwon, came up to us and in great English started asking us all these questions. He asked if we could help him learn English. If we could teach him about Christ. etc.... we said....UMM YA WE CAN HELP !!!!. Well right then and there he asked why we were going to Gwanju. We told him we were going to a meeting about Christ. HE asked US if HE could come... umm okay... since when does that happen..... So he came. The entire time he was reading on his phone about our church. He was asking us questions. And during the meeting (which was by far the most spiritual meeting I have EVER been too.. Not one dry eye. The choir sang the song "I believe in Christ" and the spirit touched us all). And during the meeting he felt something. Funny, when he walked into the church and saw all the other foreigner missionaries he laughed and said in English "I have never been to Church in my life, this is my first time..."... ha ha ha. We all just stood there with jaws dropped and eyes the size of golf balls. ha hah a. MIRACLE!!!!!!  He said after the meeting "Every one here just loves each other". I said "yes, we are a big family,  we are all Gods children. I am Sister and you are Brother". He said "I like that... I want to belong to this church".... umm okay..... amazing. The reason he was in Gwanju is because he was taking a big test there. He lives here in Mokpo for school and is from Seoul. I called him last night (you know... just contacting investigators daily... even though I think that is... stalkerish.... but it's what PMG says to do... and it's been... good. actually really good). Well I called him he was like... "I want to come to your Church. maybe come Saturday or Sunday?". (it's nice because he talks to me in English , I Love it. Miracles happen. 

This week was just so amazing. Yesterday after stake conference we had a meeting with President Shin and our stake President, President O. ... talk about spiritual. Our leaders just love and support us so much. President understands that missionaries help the MEMBERS do missionary work. Not members helping missionaries... He asked us "I know we usually pray for the missionaries... but will you pray for our members. They DO have people they can refer to you. Please, elders, sisters. pray.". Those words asking us to "pray" were right from heaven. I have never felt words that clearly from heaven. It was amazing. God is asking us to Pray. I realized today  during personal study that God is telling me to- work hard. Work even harder. Pray. Pray even harder. Be obedient. Be 100% obedient. Love. Love deeper. Give it to me. Give it ALL to me. Have faith, hope and charity. Love me. Be loyal. And leave it up to me to accomplish what I WILL accomplish." God has a plan for me. Though I thought and wanted that plan to baptize half of Korea. God also wants that, but he has a plan for me to accomplish, and I will accomplish it. Well I love you all. please pray for me. PLEASE. I love you all to the moon and back.

Sister Cole Ensign

I just get the most amazing feeling knowing the we are doing exactly what the lord expects of us .....................

Hey mom:) Thanks for getting my Christmas package sent off. Your so nice!!!! I'm so excited:)

Well winter is definitely coming and its not even as cold as it will be. My poor comp has yet to find boots.... but we will hopefully find them before the snow comes:) Our sweet relief society pres has given us scarfs and been making sure we are warm and that our apt is ready for winter and that so are we:) But who are we kidding.... we will never be ready:) Bring it on:)

This week we picked up 2 new investigators and got a referral from our investigator and her sister seems really interested. The work is definitely moving along in Korea. I am so thankful to be a part of it. This week we met with 박경희s aka Sister Park. She is the one who I wrote about that I feel like I was sent to Mokpo for her. Oh my goodness I love this woman and Sister Scott has fallen in love too!!!!! We met her this week and the spirit was ON FIRE!!!!!!! oh my goodness. We both decided it was one of, if not, the best lesson we have ever had. We spent the lesson loving her and teaching her about Christ. She looked at the pic of Christ we gave her and she asked me "Does he really live". I was answered with everything I have or could have had in one worded answer.... "yes". And she smiled and I knew that she knew. She told me she really desires to come to church and to be baptized but she is just nervous her husband wont come with her. She loves that we focus on families and she wants to do this as a family. The only problem is that her husband works 7 days a week and comes home every night around 9pm... we asked her if if would be okay to send some members over to meet her and her family and she said yes, but every time we set up an appointment she backs out at the last minute. FRUSTRATING!!!!! This woman can do it. I know it. She told me in that lesson that she believes in God and she wants to follow him. the spirit was so strong as we taught about Christ and how it is at church, through the sacrament, that we can remember him!!!!! I cant explain that spirit. The best part about it was that last week we talked about repentance... and today when we came I didn't even need to ask if she had repented... I walked into that house and the spirit was there. There was a light in her eyes and she looked TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!!!. she didn't' complain once about how hard her life was that week. She was just so happy. I knew what it was... Repentance/ Atonement. I know it was. Pray for her. She is amazing. Its just getting her to come to church.

We also got a referral from our stake president of a girl who lives 2 hours away but lives right by our ward mission leader:)!!!!!!!!! SO needless to say our ward mission leader has that taken care of. Miracles of the week (yes there were many but this one was huge).... We had our Halloween party this week and it was HUGE!!!!!!! So many members came and our ward mission leader brought the referral, sister Honey. (Cool thing about her name is that just this Saturday, in my first area in my mission, one of my old investigators was baptized and her name sounded a little like "Honey" too... miracles happen. Even when you don't eye witness them. The cool thing is that my greenie area is in my zone and so the sister who baptized her asked me to write my testimony in a little BOM that she would give to her on her baptism:) So of course I did. Amazing things. I am so glad she got baptized!!!!) Anyways. So Our new investigator, Honey, is the cutest 31year old. Love her. She is so humble and she wants to learn English... but maybe a little more:) I'm excited. 

Also this week we felt prompted to go visit a member family in our ward who we have not visited yet and who I didn't know much about. Well..... lets just say it was the best visit of my life!!!!!!!! That family has the spirit!!!!! We shared the message of the restoration. My sweet companion said the first vision and the spirit was thick enough to cut!!!!!! The members were so thankful. they are an amazing family and we were so thankful to go visit them. We actually took another member who is 20years old, cutie, and she is the only member in her family. We take her.... everywhere..... we see her at least 4-5 times a week for her to come and just do missionary work with us. I love her. Her name is Minju. Love her. Well she came with us to that house and she herself had questions about member missionary work and the members took time to tell her what it was and the importance of it. because of that experience, the members testimonies of missionary work grew!!!!!! Amazing!!!!!! Great visit.

Ha ha ha ha mom, sometimes it is funny for me to read the difference between mine and Dees mission. But it is still so amazing to me that though the areas are totally different and we see different miracles, we both are doing the same work and I feel like we are both doing exactly what the lord sent us here to do. Sometimes me and like... our whole zone... when we read Dees e-mails we wonder what she's doing that we need. And we know its that missionary drive combined with obedience and the spirit. Yes,  the product that we produce is "different" when you see it on paper. but I just get the most amazing feeling knowing the we are doing exactly what the lord expects of us and what is happening is exactly what the lord expects. Miracles just happen in missionary work. I am so thankful to be a part of it. And it so SO comforting to know I have a sister. Blood related, out there doing it too. AND hearing sweet Porters experiences touches my hearts. No matter where we are in the world,  the Atonement is in the work. It is the work!!!!!

The Lord is hastening the work. I love it. I feel it. I know it is his work. Of course I learned something amazing for my sweet scriptures and studies with sister Scott and from District meeting; OBEDIENCE IS THE PRICE. FAITH IS THE POWER. LOVE IS THE MOTIVE. SPIRIT IS THE KEY. JOY IS THE REWARD. AND CHRIST IS THE REASON. Christ is my reason for all my joy. All my success. and all my love. He lives mom. I know it. He love is us. I know it. If only we knew that a little better. Mom, Dad, Shmee, Bubba, Sam.... He loves you. You have NO idea how much he loves you. I wish I could give you a fraction of that love. but I can tell you where you will find it. Scriptures, church, service, humility, repentance, prayer, and THE TEMPLE. Sam, I am so proud of you baby girl for going to the temple. Keep it up. Mom, dad, Bubba. Follower her example, go as much as you can. Take it from someone who is pretty JEALOUS you can go to the temple... me.... I cant wait to go back. And I will NEVER do anything that will unrightously keep me from those doors.  I love you all to the moon and back. Go to the temple. There you will feel that love. Seek to feel it and I promise you will. Love changes everything. Let it change you!!!!! To the moon and back.

Sister Cole Ensign

...with that goal, we have found that our lives are filled more with the spirit .............

 Before I tell you how great my week was. Thanks for telling me and sending me pictures about your week. Mom thanks so much for your inspiring words. I just love you so much. Samantha's letter just added to my joy and I am so glad Bubba is doing good. Sounds and by the looks of the Halloween pictures dad is still my good old man. Goodness,  I love you all.

So also before I tell you about my week I want to share with you what I learned this week:)  "Our search for happiness" - 'What makes you Americans think you can come here and teach us anything about Christianity?'  It was a common question, and a legitimate one... unless we could offer people spiritual insights and understanding they couldn't receive anywhere else, there really wasn't much reason for them to listen to us.

 

Also from 1 Nephi 11 "and I said unto him; I know that he LOVETH his children; NEVERTHELESS I DO NOT KNOW THE MEANING OF ALL THINGS". l love this scripture. Especially during hard times I know understand the ways of the Lord. But I am thankful that Nephi teaches that we don't need to understand the "why" but we can know the only thing we NEED to know. that God loves. Oh does he love us. So much. We can not comprehend. THEN!!!! guess what. I found the answers to ALL my needs as a missionary. My questions are always' 1:What can I teach that will give desire to those I meet? 2: What can I teach that will meet the needs of all my investigators? 3: What is the greatest gift I can give my investigators? 4: What is the most important thing to teach my investigators? 5: What is the answer to all my investigators questions? Deep right... well I found one answer. And through MUCH study I understand this to be true. The answer is GODS LOVE. 

1Nephi 11:16"Knowest thou the condescension of God?". Verse 21 "Knowest thou the meaning of the Tree?"  Verse 22" Yea, it is the LOVE of God"... "Wherefore it is the most desirable about all things." Verse 23: Yea, and the most Joyous to the soul". Later I learned more from reading chapter 11. Jesus Christ. THE savior himself taught, ministered, preformed miracles, taught with power and authority and yet, he too was "cast out from among them". I have been thinking A LOT about the article of Faith #11- we claim the privilege of worshiping almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where or what they may?. I think about this scripture and Christ's ministry combined. I have been thinking a lot about the work Christ did. Christ was THE missionary. He ALWAYS taught with love, the spirit, power, authority, etc. He taught and did perfectly, yet people STILL abandoned him and continued to "worship"/ "live" the lives they always have. God and Christ gave us free agency. Yes they and me would like everyone to come and join. But Gods children have free agency. Yes it is sometimes heart breaking. But us missionaries and God "allow all men the same privilege , lot them worship how, where or what they may". Christ changed the world. How? Through the greatest act of love ever done- The Atonement. Though we want everyone to come into the fold. We can not force. WE can only invite with that love, spirit, power and authority. BUT we, God and Christ CAN bring something to ALL those we meet that will bless them. And that is LOVE. The gospel is LOVE. God and Christ are LOVE. The Atonement is LOVE> The plan is LOVE! that IS what we CAN bring to everyone no matter what, who, when or how they worship/ believe. And it is through that love that their spirits are awakened and desire to change for the better through repentance. Sometimes I feel like in my weaknesses, God does not have much to work with. ha ha ha. BUT I do have love. Oh boy. ha ha ha. I've got some love to share. And I realized where I got that love. it was through the atonement. I was changed by the act of love. The Atonement made me worship and believe the way Christ spent his ministry pleading for people to worship and believe. It is through the Atonement that we change people. There is the cleansing part of the Atonement but also the ENABLING power of the atonement. So what can I bring the people i love so much here in Mokpo? Christ Atonement/ LOVE. I cant control a lot of things. But I can control that. And I know, with all my heart that it is ONLY  through the Atonement and understanding that love, that people really change and KEEP CHANGING. If there was one thing I wish I could give everyone, it would be to have a glimpse of the Love God has for us. That would change the world. I know it. And Guess what else is love. My message. I get to give away love for free. I get to give away freely the most priceless gift. Love. Christ. 

 

So this week was good because I just focused on that love and was overwhelmed with love. I just LOVED everyone I met. And with that love we found 5 new investigators. And it was not just that but that I just love these people. We even got a referral from a member and 2 referrals from investigators. And then we met the Egyptian man, Shady. Oh Shady. He fell in LOVE with the church website which is available in Arabic. I don't know what this gospel will do for this man, but I am so excited. It was so funny as we were walking to dinner with him and our other investigators and missionaries and members from English class he said "I am so sorry I just want to tell you everything about me. And I don't know why. I am just so happy." I KNOW HE FELT THAT LOVE. Me and Sister Scott (LOVE HER) have been focusing on that love and just working so hard to give it in everything we do. With that goal we have found that our lives are filled more with the spirit and more people are catching on to it. Juliet was the first investigator that I feel I loved like a family member. Like my sister. And I know I changed her life. She tells me all the time in texts how much she misses me and that spirit. But that she just cant do it because of her Boyfriend. So I know I just need to give that same love that I gave to her, to....well... everyone. ha ha ha. And so we have tried that and it is easy and contagious. Yes we are still turned down and have times where we feel ...sad... but we quickly are picked up by that love we have for the next person we see. 

 

I wish I could explain the change I have felt in my life because of this love. Christ's Atonement has swallowed up all my hopes, desires, wants, wishes, sadness's, happiness, calm, hyper, etc, feelings and I am just filled with this love. It is ALL swallowed up. I'm so thankful for it. More that I can write in words. I am thankful , sometimes (ha ha ha),   that it took some heartbreak to get here, but I'm thankful for where I have reached. God Loves us. Christ loves us. WE are SO loved. People don't understand that like they should. And they cant fully understand it until they meet us. IT IS ONLY THROUGH THIS CHURCH THAT WE WILL FEEL THAT LOVE BECAUSE WE ARE THE ONLY CHURCH THAT UNDERSTANDS CHRIST. Yes other beliefs believe and they can even have felt a fraction of that love through prayer or song or some other way but they will not know it like the NEED TO KNOW IT until this message is in their life. That's why God calls missionaries. To go and give that love. Give the gift that no one else in the world but his members can give. We've got the good word. So though we believe to let everyone worship how they desire, that sure is not going to stop God or his missionaries or his members from sharing LOVE. Sharing the thing we have that the rest of the world is DYING to have but can't find. We have it. I know we do. 

 

Sorry this was a novel. I was just so thankful this week and overcome with love that I have to share it with the people I love. I love you to the moon and back.

Sister Cole Ensign

always, right when things seem impossible, the lord picks you up, brushes you off, and lays you right on his back...

Well the reason this is titled slinky is because of the perfect slinky stairs I found.... and .... because my slinky/ week kinda went down hill... ha ha ha. But in a really good faith building way. THeres no where better to start than from the bottom. I really am sad because of what happend this week, but I also have never been more filled with love, the spirit, happiness and hope. 

Fisrt off. My trainee is ......AMAZING. Oh my goodness I couldnt ask for a better comp let alone a better friend. She reminds me of both of my companions in the MTC. Sister Gelder and SIster Hendricks!!!!!! And she is kinda like me, we have a LOT IN COMMON. For instance, our best friends are our sibblings. Like we talk about our family.... non stop!!!!!! I am so thankful to be with her. Her name is Sister Scott. She is from Ogden:) Love her!!!!!! And it is such a blessing to have here with me when our first day together,my heart broke. 

Our investigator, Sister Juliet... she texted saying "I love my boyfriend... he does not like you... I want to marry him and he said if we want to get married I have to stop meeting you... I am so sorry"..... so after the inital shock of my heart being wripped out and having lemmon juice poured in I texted her back wondering if I would ever meet her again. It was not even the fact that I just lost an investigator, but i just lost a friend who I LOVE SO MUCH!!!! I have nevr felt more close to an investigator. I know she is really sad we cant meet anymore, but I know she also loves her fiance. So this is areally hard time for her. I just cried.... and cried.... and cried...... my comp was there for me. She didtn know who Juliet is but she felt sad that someone who was getting baptized is no longer on that road. I was.....to say the least.... devastated .  For the first time on my mission I desired to not work as hard. Like I couldnt believe how much this hurt me. I didn't realize how much I love this woman. But like always, right when things seem impossible, the lord picks you up, brushes you off, and lays you right on his back. Thats what the lord did for me. During my personal study the day after Juliet texted me I was just overcome with the spirit of love. I could feel the prayers of people in my behalf. Especially I could feel my sweet companions families prayers for me. I could feel the fam's prayers and the prayers they offer for missionares all over the world. I was lifted. It was truly a blessing. I was studying in First nephi, the lord commands the sons of Lehi to return to jerusalem to recieve the plates. This was a commandment. Nephi willingly accepts the commandment. He is faithful, loyal and righetous in keeping this commandment. But WHY did the lord give them this commandment and after two tries, the task seemed impossible? Why did the lord give them this commandment and when they kept it, God didn't immediately help? Why did God "Wait" to help them accomplish the task? The lord is testing their faith, AS TO BUILD THEIR FAITH. Why did God command me to serve a mission? And why is he not "helping"me to accomplish the task of baptizing Juliet and my other friends>? Well... God IS  helping me. Always along the way, the Lord gave Nephi and his brothers mercies, miracles, and faith building moments. And just when all seemed lost, the Lord helped them accomplish this task. He was always there, always helping. ALWAYS. But God gives us commandments to strengthen our faith so that he can give us blessings. I can not forget, I will not forget that the Lord is here with me. I may wonder and question how I will accomplish this task, but I must keep the faith. Hold on and endure and  work hard in the spirit! I will not give up because like Nephi  "I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."   The Lord did not command me to come on a mission to just fail. I will overcome. Only with the strength in my Lord. Sometimes I think that the lords task for me to serve a mission is different than I '"hope"/ aka baptize everyone in korea.  ha ha. Though this is something God wants, it may be a different task assigned to someone else. But I am still here to help people come to baptism. But I realy feel like God has given me such a big heart because he needed someone to love his children. I think Im pretty good at loving, thanks to the lord. With that love, I can lead people to baptism.  But my task, like the lord commands, is to love. And through that love, people make steps. Love fixes everything. Love is Christ. Love is the Atonement. I know of NO greater act of love than of GOd giving us his son, and Christ suffering the Atonement. No greater love. I know I can give people that love. Though I just want to throw people into the waters of baptism and shower them with blessings, we first give them love. I can do that. I can do whatever the lord wants / needs me to do. And right now, if I follow the spirit, I will accomplish the tasks God has sent me here to do. Please pray for Juliet. I will not give up. I still love her. Oh do I love her. 

I love you to mom. Thank you for your prayers and your constant support. Thank you dad for your amazing diligence, faith and support. Bubba... oh do I love you. Holy cow I love you!!!!!! keep being the good brother that I love so much. Sammy... agh baby girl. Im just trying each day to try to have a fraction of the love that you have. If everyone in the world had a fraction of the love for others that you have, the world would be a lot better. Thank you for teaching me about love. Diondra... agh  sis!!!!!!  "Sista lets fly".  I love you.  Keep sending me that amazing example of how in the world I can do misisonary work... YOU ARE AMAZING!!!! 

LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK!!!!!!!!

love sister Cole Ensign

Christ taught us the greatest commandment is to Love...................

Well I'm just in tears right now. I have so many feelings right now. 1- I am so happy to be staying in Mokpo and..... 2- I'm training again!!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!! I must not know how to be a senior and  a trainer so God is keeping me going. ha ha . I pick her up on Thursday which is transfer day. Please pray for me. 

 

I apologize now for how short this e-mail will be because our zone went hiking in Gwanju today and we just got back and we only have 15 minutes to e-mail. Sorry mom. I know you DIE for these e-mails. 

 

So lets talk about how much I have cried this week.... I cant tell you how much I have learned to LOVE on my mission.  Just loving is all I am able to do sometimes. Not going to lie.... IT STINKS NOT GETTING THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE INTO THE WATERS OF BAPTISM. I hope every person reading this knows how much of a blessing it is to see a baptism. I hope one day I will get to see that. If not, God be willing. Our investigators just kind of broke my heart this week. We had wanted to meet them and they just didn't keep commitments this week. Commitment keeping is the only thing that keeps me going.  When people keep commitments/repent/ come to Christ, that is a MIRACLE!!!!!! Purely a miracle. Too often missionaries don't realize that. Missionaries don't realize the war that Satan and Gods angles are having over this person and so when they keep commitments it really is a miracle!!!!!!! Well this week Satan got to my investigators. They all took a step back. I was so sad to say the least. 

But God taught me an important lesson this week. It is called love. Christ taught us the greatest commandment is to Love God and to love your neighbor.... well though I cant control the agency of others, I can control how much I love them. I have learned to LOVE on my mission. Sometimes I feel like the only thing I have going for me is love,  which in reality is the Atonement. That's the only thing. When it all comes down to is, its all you have. One day you will want to have God in your life and if you don't understand how much he loves you, you will not know where he is. God loves us. I have learned to work on my mission but I have learned to LOVE. There is NO point in doing missionary work if you don't love what you do and who you do it for. Love is everything. If there is anything I could share to the missionary force serving and yet to go serve,  it is to LOVE.  Learn to love.  Give the love when its hard. Don't hold back when it's easy. Just give it your all. So with that I have learned plenty of heart break on my mission. You just love so much and when they hurt you, it hurts. Bad. But I also know that I have someone who will ALWAYS love me. He will never stop loving me. So when its just me and him, I can feel His love. 

This week we saw so many miracles of love. Moments where I  wanted to slap some lady for telling me straight up that I was Satan and literally kicked me out of her house and all I had was love.  A deep sadness that she just kicked out the greatest gift in the world!   Sometimes it is overwhelming to know that me and my comp are the only two in our whole apartment complex that knows the truth. WHAT IN THE WORLD!!!!. This message is a blessing for all and we are the only two with it!!!! WHAT!!!!!! But what does that knowledge do? It makes you work hard. Though this week was a bit rough we worked hard. We met some amazing people that didn't want to meet again, but it was great to meet them. 

Sister Juliet was sick this week and so she couldn't meet and so maybe that is why this week was rough because she just lights up my LIFE!!!! I love her!!!!!! But with every tough time comes  faith building which leads to more miracles. 

We tried to meet so many people this week and no one seemed to like us. ha ha ha ha ha. It s funny how bad you feel for the savior when you read the bible and then you go out side and experience a little taste of what he felt. Not funny. But hey, sometimes all you can do is laugh. 

I think a lot about what the Savior went through on his mission and I think A LOT about how, what, when, why and  who he would help if he where here. It's proved successful. I just love him. I cant comprehend the love he has for me but I am thankful for the love I feel. 

I love my savior. I know he loves you. I am so excited to LOVE the love out of my new companion,  but OH BOY am I going to miss Sister Wadsworth or what. I love her. She loves me. Love makes everything better. This week the Zone leader needed some help and he said he felt prompted to ask me. The only advice I have been able to ever give any one is to "Buck up, put on your boots, Get to work.... And remember the Atonement". But something I think people and I forget , is to Love. Get to work and LOVE what you do and who you meet. If not. It's all a waste. God said to Love. So though I wonder how I can get my friends baptized, I still dont' know. But I do know that I can love them. So that's what I will do. And if they want to be baptized. Great. If not, I will still love them. 

Well speaking of love. Mom, Dad, Bubba, Sam, Shmee. I love you. Oh do I love you. I love you to the moon and back. Sorry I couldn't talk much about the week. I just felt strongly to share "love" with you.  All you need is love and who is love? Christ:)

To the moon and back,

Sister Cole Ensign

I have never felt more like a savior in my life.........

Oh my goodness!!!! Such a good week!!!!! Talk about all the miracles and the general conference!!!!! AGH I just love this time of year. I'ts like an early Christmas ha ha ha.

 The weather here is getting SUPER nice. This morning me and my comp woke up at 5:30am and went with a member to a hike a mt. and then did studies up on the mt. It was so beautiful!!!!!! I was really happy to get out and see some nature especially when all I see all day is buildings... and trash... and homeless cats... ha ha ha just kidding, Korea is more beautiful than how I just explained... ha ha. Sometimes korea has some interesting smells and we don't know where the sun is because the buildings cover everything, but I love it,  probably because of the people;) I love the korean people! I feel like they are my children. They drive me crazy, but I love them to death. Somethimes they make stupid decisions, but I still love them. Sometimes they dont listen to me. But I still love the. Sometimes they down right break my heart. But I love them. And sometimes, they make my entrie week... which makes me love them more!!!!! I think I know a little bit about how God feels about us. God loves us!!!!!!!!!!

So I want to talk for a minute about a woman named 한현옥. This woman is my... mission!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGH!!!!! I met her On October 8, 2013. Heads up, she is not an investigator and she doesnt like church, and I dont think I will ever meet or see her again. But I love her. On the way to a members house for a quick visit I sat by a woman on the bus and just started talking.... and talking... and talking.... and soon I was literally in tears as she grabbed my hand, asked me not to leave, and told me that I need to find a good man to marry becase my heart is tender. I literally cried and was overwhelmed for the love that God has for her and I could feel it. I just wanted to take her right then and there to the waters of Baptism, and next to the temple. She told me of her family, her divorce, how she cant trust men (every woman in korea... literally ALL of my investigators (besides one) either hates their husbands and wants a divorce, or has divorced.. even when we talk on the street to women they ask if I am married and I say no and they look at me with sincerity and say "dont marry a koren man"... its always becasue of alochol... the men here drink every night and spend time drinking with their boss so they get some where in the work place, instead of spending time with family. ) anyways... sorry.... so she told me to marry a good man. She told me of her life and she just talked to me. The miracle about this woman is I could feel like this was an unusual situation for her... talking to people... let alone strangers.... let alone a stranger with brown curley hair and a WHITE skin..... this was not usual for her. But she was there, pouring out her life to me. I can not begin to explain the love I felt for this woman. It was increadible. I got off the bus and just cried because I wanted to help her. I told her how in our church men dont drink and so they are good men. I told her God loves her. I laughed with her as she told me that she loves her son, but that I shouldnt marry her. I held her hand as she just talked to me. I have never felt more like a savior in my life. And I cant even meet her again. But somehow, I know I will. I will see her agian. The worst part about missions are the "almosts". I was writing my trainer an e-mail last week and we talked about the 'almost's.". I'm sick of almosts on my mission but at the same time... I am thankful that God gives them to me to keep me going. I am here to baptize, but I am also here to help. Just help. I am thankful that I get to help a lot. But ya... baptisims would be good too... ha ha ha ha. But I just loved this woman and I consider her truly a blessing. I feel like I will see her again and when I do......I WILL GET HER TO THE WATERS OF BAPTISM!!!!!!!!

Okay, lets talk Juliet for a second... aka my sweet investigator who wants to be baptized. I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!! We ate together after conference  and it was just so great:) I love her:) She already considers herself a member. Its so cute when she says "well with new members like me". haha ha. She has yet to be baptized, but she considers herself a member... we need to talk about that. But she was not able to come to church this last week so she cant be baptized on the 27th. She loves EVERYTHING about this church except about coming to church... ha ha. Story of my LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways. Love her. She says she wants to study the church which I understand because there are CRAZY churches in korea and her dad asked her to be careful. So I understand. She is now wanting November 17th:) I love her. She is really reasonable with it all. She says she feels the spirit and believes the book of mormon is true:) She likes our church but she is scared to meet a lot of people at church. She told me the cutest thing the other day as we walked together to the bus stop... "Sister Ensign, you are my mentor. You make me happy to learn about the God".ha ha ha. I just love her. And then she sent me a text that said "God has made you in an amazing way. Help me find the God". ah ah. I love it when she tries to speak english. I love it. Please pray for her. 

Also our lessons with our married couple Sister Lee and Brother Pack  was really good. Sister Lee prayed and thanked God that she recieved peace while meeting with us and for recieving a good feeling through our message:) I love my investigators... now I just need them to come to church. 

Louisa... cant get baptized until she gets married... and marriage is... no where in sight... Why do you ask that she cant get baptized until she is married.... well becaesu we prayed and we talked with 2 different mission presidents who have known her and they said she CAN NOT  be baptized until she is willing to keep the law of chastity.... and it has always been a problem... so we prayed, fasted, and determined with her, that marriage needs to come before baptism.... All 3 mission presidents that I had to talk to abouther said the same thing... and it was through the spirit. So now all we do is help her. WE decided we can best help her, by helping her come to church every week. That is our goal with her. But no baptism...... Sadness.

And then Sister Pack... love this woman but she wont tome to church. I prayed really hard about as to how to help her and I got some really good revelation!!!!! Its called "ward family home evening". Getting her to meet sisters int he ward, help her know where the church is, and getting her to LEAVE HER HOUSE will hopefully make her happy. I was really excited. WE are doing it next monday:) Please pray for us.

So lets talk aobut conference. For the first time in my....life... I didnt have a talk that stood out to me, instead I was just filled with strength, love, the spirit, and a determination to be a better missionary and member, and desciple of Christ. I had 5 specific questions I wanted answered during conference... yup... like "The District" says "you can put your money on the prophet" to answer your questions. ha ha ha ha. So That was really good to get some questions answered and to be lifted and strengthend. I know our leaders are called of God. No question. It is truly a blessing to have a prophet and apostles:)

I have really been studying about how to be a disciple of Christ and how to be a better missionary especially one who teaches with the spirit... well I got my answer. It's called LOVE. CHARITY. That is all it is. Easy right... wrong... but with a little prayer and some humbling..... Love comes. John 13: 35 says "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another". Love is all it takes. And I have truly felt it this week. I pray I can feel it more and more.

One thing that really struck me in conference was when President uchtdorf quoted john 6. Christ says"Will ye also go away". And I speak as does peter when he says "Lord, to whom shall we Go?". The Lord is who I choose to follow and forever and ever will I. I will not, never, ever, go away. I have like Elder Holland says "put my head to the plough and will never look back". 

I love you to the moon and back. 

Sister cole Ensign

.... no greater joy will be felt than when you can finally SEE.......

This week was a good one. Like always. 

We were promised by our zone leader some amazing promises if we would just focus on teaching with the spirit to their needs. Stop thinking like "our investigator needs to read the book of Mormon." or "Our investigator needs to come to church". Those are not needs. Needs are; "Sister Kim needs to know she is a daughter of God".... "Brother Pack needs to know that he can receive strength from God by keeping commandments." Those are needs. Well that's what my comp and I did this week and we saw miracles. MIRACLES baby!!!! Focus on the needs and teach with the spirit and ALL are uplifted. 

Our sweet Juliet is doing amazing. She keeps saying she loves the spirit she feels when she is with us and I am so glad she is so in tune with that spirit. Little do we know, but we feel him more than we realize or think to acknowledge. God loves us so he WILL send his spirit to strengthen us, lift us, guide us, and help us. ALWAYS. because God ALWAYS loves us. President Hinckley said "We are Gods children ALL THE TIME. Not just when we are good". That is something I LOVE teaching. God loves us all the time. We are his children forever and for always!!!! Sister Juliet knows that. She is still wanting to be baptized on the 27th!!!! Please pray for her because she just has a problem with church attendance..... she doesn't like to wake up. ha ha ha. Shes 31 and still has teenager problems... ha ha,  Love her. 

We also had another investigator, Brother Pack,  who is atheist and doesn't believe in God but he tells us that he wants to believe. He wants to find the truth, and when he finds it, he wants to be baptized!!!! I can not even tell you what this man has gone through and he has come SO far!!!!! I love him. My companion is particularly attached to him in such a spiritual way and she just broke him open and made him soft. I love my comp.  I love it. We really are sent to places that we are needed. God loves us so much. 

I now want to talk about Louisa and Sister Yuoo.... Sister Yuoo doesn't want to ever see us again... we don't know what happened. We visited her ever day this week wondering where she was. We thought something happened to her... ya... her other church told her about us... you know . So now she doesn't want anything to do with us. I love this woman and I know she knows we have the truth and so that was a little heart breaking... And then Sister Louisa.... apparently she has a big problem with the law of chastity....... AGH! I love this woman but we are drilling into her the principle of repentance. Something I wanted to make her understand is the beauty and peace that come from repentance. That it is not a sad thing. Sadness is PART of repentance, but repentance is a beautiful path that leads to happiness and relief from grief, guilt, sin, and EVERY THING THAT MAKES US SICK. I have such a strong testimony about repentance and the atonement and I am not surprised that god put Louisa in my path. I know my testimony can help her. But she cant be baptized... for a long time... she talked to the Mission Pres. and he said she cant be baptized until she is married.... even though she is living with no one... she needs to be married... pure inspiration. I love the spirit. Please pray for my loved ones!!! aka investigators!!!!! 

I read this verse the other day and remembered my hard heart and I just couldn't rend it. No matter what good acts I tried. I needed the atonement. Ether 4: 15 says "Behold when ye shall rent the veil of unbelief which doth cause you to remain in your awful state of wickedness, and hardness of heart, and blindness of mind, then shall the great and marvelous things which have been hid up from you- when you shall call upon the father in my name, when a broken heart and a contrite spirit, then shall ye know that the father hath remembered the covenant with he hath made...." Through the atonement we can have that hard heart rooted out and we will finally be able to see. With all of life's difficulties, trials, sins, heart breaks, we are being blinded by that hard heart and sometimes we don't even know it but when we just humble ourselves,  CHANGE,  and go to the lord, that is when we finally see. Nothing, no greater joy,  will be felt than when you can finally see. That is what I love helping my investigators feel. If you are feeling blinded or that you cant see or if you are angry or sad or confused, you are being blinded by your own will... so now use that will, that gift called agency,  to call upon the Atonement to rend that veil that makes it so you cant see. I know I have to rend that veil every day. 

Mom I love you. Thank you and dad for teaching me and guiding me down the path that teaches me how to "see" and how to rend the veil. I will be forever grateful. 

I love you to the moon and back.

Sister Cole Ensign

God loves you more than to the moon and back:) That's a lot of love. :)

So my day was... AMAZING!!!! And now I'm hungry for more....

Oh my goodness oh my goodness! When God gives you what you need he always seems to add on a little sugar to make it sweeter. Agh. This week was a GEM! Shmee challenged (my little challenging missionary;)) to work extra hard this week... MIRACLES HAPPEN. Oh my goodness. So I want to start off with the sad news.... My loving friend, Sister Yuoo has not been answering our phone calls or answering the door when we visit for the past week.... So that was depressing. But we don't feel like we should drop her or give up, so we are going to search for times this week where we can find out what is wrong... ha ha ha ha. Gotta love missionary stalking.... Its the greatest;) so we had a good cry over her yesterday because we just love her and desire so badly for her to get baptized and come unto Christ. So we are working on that.... please pray for her. 

Now for the good news....

So remember that Korean holiday that was last week... well during this holiday all Koreans go back to their home town... so like it is CRAZY busy and there are a bunch of new people in Mokopo and in every area of Korea.  Well during the holiday this frantically hurried woman comes up to me while I'm on the phone, asks me to give her my number. I get of the phone and try to talk to her but she leaves quickly. I did get her phone number but before I could even think she was texting me in English. She said she is looking for English friends to speak to in English...... I HATE ENGLISH. ha ha ha. SO I didn't think anything about it because I thought she was just going to use me for my English abilities. Well we kept texting and on Friday she wanted to meet and go out to dinner. By the way her English Name is Sister Juliet and her Korean name is Sister Wang. So if I call her Juliet, its because it's easier. So anyways... We met... Umm ....okay she is the cutest 31 year old in the world. She is not married and loves learning.She's really good at English and is now like my other half. I love her. Well we met and we got to know each other. She met once with the missionaries in Seoul and she thought they were English teaching missionaries.... and she said they were horrible at teaching English... ha ha ha h a. We explained that we are not here to teach English. But she said when she found me she did not know I was part of the same missionary group. So we talked. She said she believes in God but only when times are rough does she ask for help.She does not have a special religion but believes. She doesn't have a bible, but believes.

With that said, she said after that lesson that she felt really good about meeting us and wanted to meet again. already long story short, we met her again yesterday.... BEST LESSON OF MY LIFE!!!!!!! Oh my goodness. I start out by saying "so can we start with..." she cuts me off and says "we should pray"... umm yes, exactly.... So She asks Sister Wadsworth to pray and says in English so sister Wadsworth can understand,  "please pray for us". SO CUTE!!!! Then we start with the first lesson (LOVE THE FIRST LESSON) I start teaching God is our loving father and she stops me again and says " I feel really warm... I like this feeling". WE explained it was the spirit. So by this point I am DYING of happiness because she is feeling the spirit and the room is on fire! We watch the restoration DVD, she loves it and says all on her own " I want to know if this is true. I will read and pray about this ".  Umm okay,.... way to give yourself your own commitment. She is amazing. Then my amazing companion talked about following Jesus Christ and asked her to be baptized. She said... YES!!!!!!!!!!! for October 27th. She says she still wants to pray about it and to come to church but she will prepare to be baptized:). Then the spiritual lesson is coming to a close and I say "Before we go eat (because she wanted to make dinner together at the church) can we..."  She stops me again and says,  "I will pray".  During the prayer I was asking God to please help her feel the spirit. She prayed to know the truth and to know what to do. She ends the beautiful prayer and says "I don't know why, but I think I will cry.". So of course we were feeling the spirit burn in us and I was just so thankful God touched her open, soft heart. After we ate and talked about the Korean language we were walking out of the church and she said all cute as she hopped down the stairs  (in English) ""I want to be a member of this church". I said "well Sister, we can help you do that because God wants you to be a member too". AGH I LOVE HER!!!!! So my day was... AMAZING yesterday,  and now I'm hungry for more. 

Tonight we meet Louisa who is still planning on being baptized on Oct 20th. And I am just ecstatic. I love this. I know it s all true. Someone who has never "noticed"the spirit before felt the feelings we always explain; peace, warmth, and love. She felt it. She didnt' even know what it was until we told her, but she felt it. I feel it too. Its real. They are real feelings from our loving father in heaven. He loves us so much that he has given us the opportunity to feel the spirit. To lead us, to teach us, to guide us, and to love us. It's true. I know it. And like Joseph Smith, I will never deny it. I love being a missionary. 

Also a little update on Sister Pack..... Agh, she knows it's true, she wants to be baptized, she has made friends with the members... BUT SHE WONT COME TO CHURCH. She tells me every week she will... and then I call her Sunday morning and she says she cant because of her kids.... AGH. I will be having a good talk with her about promised blessings that come from coming to church and from KEEPING THE COMMANDMENTS!!!. I love her but I feel like a mother and she is my child... Well... thinking about it... that's how I feel about all my investigators... I feel like I'm either dating them or babysitting them...ha ha ha. Gotta love it:) I do:)

 I see all these miracles and I am so thankful that I know they are miracles sent from God. And to some, not believing friends, these might not seem like miracles... But I know they are. In Ether 3:5 it reads " ... we know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of Men". We are to look for the miracles that "men" can not see. Because they are there.

Well family... We are all missionaries right?:) Right:) well Christ tells us in Mormon 9:22 " For behold, thus saith Jesus Christ, the son of God, unto ALL his disciples; Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature". Lets be a gospel preaching family. Like Elder Holland says "in this family we serve missions". Well also in this family, we peach, love, teach, and testify.

 I love you to the moon and back!!!!!!!!

Love Sister Cole Ensign